What Happened When Nonconsensual Images of Me Were Leaked
Uldouz started her acting career and quickly began to grow a following from her modeling and acting work. As she was growing in popularity, she learned that intimate, nonconsensual images and videos of her were leaked in the 2014 iCloud hack that affected hundreds of women, including many celebrities. After the leak, Uldouz battled to have the videos removed from mainstream porn websites, including Pornhub. In this episode, Uldouz discusses how being a victim of image-based sexual abuse (IBSA) has affected her life, from being bullied by her peers to brands deciding not to work with her. Uldouz says she’s been able to find healing in openly discussing her image-based sexual abuse and support to other victims.
Uldouz Wallace is an actress, model, influencer, writer, producer, and survivor of image-based sexual abuse. She started her acting career and quickly began to grow a following from her modeling and acting work. As she was growing in popularity, she learned that intimate non-consensual images and videos of her were leaked in the 2014 iCloud hack that affected hundreds of women, including many celebrities. After the leak Uldouz battled, to have the videos removed from mainstream porn websites, including PornHub. In this episode, Uldouz discusses how being a victim of image-based sexual abuse has affected her life from being bullied by her peers to brands deciding not to work with her, listen to Uldouz share her story, and explain how she’s been able to find healing and openly discussing her image-based sexual abuse and support to other victims. With that, let’s jump into the conversation. We hope you enjoy this episode of Consider Before Consuming.
Fight The New Drug (01:08):
We want to say thanks for joining us on the podcast today.
Thank you for having me.
Fight The New Drug (01:13):
And for the listeners who aren’t familiar with who you are. Can you give us a rundown of who you are, what your education is, and how you started your career in acting modeling?
So, hi everybody. My name is Uldouz Wallace, and, I started actually with getting a master’s degree in marketing, and then I started getting into, you know, trying out how to do acting and modeling and all that kind of stuff. I grew up in Sweden, so, you know, growing up in Sweden, I was told that, oh, you’re not blonde, you’re not blue-eyed. And you know, you’re not skinny, you’re not tall. You’re all of all of the things that you know you’re supposed to be and was considered beautiful, basically. I was not it. So, I, you know, I came to Canada and they were just like, oh, you’re pretty, you should try modeling, you should try acting. And I’m like, wow. Like, it’s kind of cool. I never thought about that and people think I’m beautiful. This is interesting. Right? So of course I started trying out modeling and acting and, I, and it was amazing.
It was like, you know, really cool and it was entertainment and I always been, you know, wanting to get into some kind of entertainment or something. I thought that, that, that was like the ultimate dream, right? Right. And, meanwhile I was getting this master’s degree in marketing, and, the only reason why I really got that was because my mom is a Persian mom, and she’s like, you’re gonna be a doctor or dentist. And I’m like, I don’t wanna be any of those. And she’s like, well, you need to get a degree of some sort. What do you wanna be? And I’m like, I wanna be like, Amanda, Heather Locklear from Melrose Place and own my own advertising agency and be a boss and, you know, tell people to do commercials and stuff like that. Right. Those are cool aspirations.
Like Heather Locklear was just an actress and you know, in my mind I was like, I wanna be like her. It’s like a character, right? And so, yeah, it kind of goes better with the whole acting stuff and not so much the, the marketing and advertising, but I went to school for marketing and advertising basically cause cause of that. And, I wanted to do commercials, funny commercials, all of that. you know, good stuff. And basically, I finished my degree and then I realized, oh wow, this is not like that much fun and you know, this and that. And I was marketing companies. And then I got into, marketing, for, Funny Or Die, Will Ferrell’s Funny Or Die, or Marlon Wayans, What The Funny, and I was doing comedy, little comedy snippets and stuff like that, and I started writing for them.
And, this was for social media obviously, so I was kind of growing them on social media and doing comedy content. And I went to Groundlings where like Will Ferrell and everybody went, which is a comedy improv school. And, I tried that out and it was good. It was fun, and I was growing them. And then I started realizing, well, why don’t I do this for myself and grow my own following? But I knew that there was a lot of, you know, kind of like backlash because you’re a woman and women aren’t supposed to be funny. And, you know, I looked the way I look. So they, they were like, oh, hell yeah. Like you, you’re not gonna be able to be funny at all because you’re a woman and somewhat attractive or something like that. Right. And now I, I was all of a sudden attractive, you know?
Ok. Which is so funny. So I’m like, okay, all right. Like I guess it’s a good thing kind of, I don’t know. But, so yeah, so the whole aspect of that was that I was like, okay, in order to get accepted in this field, I’m gonna do like sexy, funny and that kind of thing. Right. And I did that and it went viral. Like it just like took off because it was nobody really at that time that was doing that. And, I was like one of the first ones I guess or something, and Right. It just took off and I built my following and I was, you know, I had like, some acting credits and all of this stuff and the modeling, the print modeling, and it was just taken off and then boom, all of a sudden out of the blue, I was hacked.
And, everybody start calling me and they’re like, what’s going on? They’re saying that you are on some kind of like, hack list of celebrities and people in the public eye and there’s a hundred women and you’re on this list. And, when it first happened, I, I didn’t think much of it because, you know, if I had a boyfriend or something I would send pictures, but I never really revealed like any of my private parts because I knew that things like that could happen. But then, what happened was that they auctioned us off and everybody could bet on these girls. and there was big name, celebrities like Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton and like the bigger names. Right, right. So everybody was just betting and, you know, paying all this money to see all these girls from the list. And every time their name would get brought up, I would get brought up and it was just, it was just like this crazy, thing happening.
And then after that, all of the leaks start happening. So they actually leaked those images and my phone started blowing up like crazy. And that’s when I realized, oh my god, the, the, these pictures and the video that got leaked on me is a couple pictures and a video that my ex-boyfriend took of me without my consent. Oh, okay. And without my knowledge. And basically it’s, it’s like the bad pictures, right. So it’s the ones that I wouldn’t even think about. I knew that he threatened me with those, but I didn’t understand how iCloud and iMessage and all of that stuff worked at the time. because this was like in 2014. And, you know, you went there and nobody really understood what the iCloud was. It’s the cloud in the air somewhere.
Fight The New Drug (07:44):
Some mysterious thing.
Yeah. It was in the beginning of iCloud. So, you know, it was just like, oh, it just backs up your pictures. Oh, okay, cool. Well you need your pictures. Right? You don’t want them erased. So, yeah, that’s when you kind of realize, wow, this iCloud it’s something that people can hack. Wow. So that’s when I realized, oh wow, this is really bad. This is like a video on me that like, I don’t want out there and, I’m intimate. It’s in my most like vulnerable place in my life, you know, with my ex-boyfriend. And this was private. Like, this is horrible. Right, right. So then like, it starts getting spread out and shared to all the porn sites, Google, I mean, you name it. And it would have millions and millions of views everywhere you would go and they would leave all these source side up.
I mean, there was so many layers to this that this, there’s just so much to unravel. But basically, like I said, since it was such a high profile case, they were just like searching me up or searching somebody else up. And anytime any of us would come up, all of these other girls would show up all over again. Even Google didn’t know how to basically take this stuff down. They were saying that if you didn’t take the pictures of yourself, then basically the guy owns the copyright. Hmm. They wanted me to reach out to him and beg him for my copyright, you know,. Wow. And, you know, you call the lawyers and you’re just like, oh, I like, can you help me get this stuff taken down? I don’t know how to take it down. Oh yeah. We won a $20,000 retainer and $10,000 a month and I wasn’t making that kind of money.
I mean, I wasn’t like a Jennifer Valores, you know, like, I was just devastated. I, I didn’t know what to do. So I basically asked, these people that were like, monetizing my YouTube at the time, if they could help me take this stuff down and they just get a small percentage out of, you know, my YouTube earnings. Yeah. And, so they agreed with that. But then what happened then was that they were just lying to me and telling me, oh yeah. Like, you know, you didn’t make any money and they would just pocket all of the earnings for that. Oh, wow. And then I calculated how much it was and how much everybody else that I was working with were making. And it was over a million dollars over just a three year span. So it it’s just like, wow.
Like I spent so much money on DMCA take down requests so much time and effort because eventually I had to learn how to do it myself. Right. And even then it was just like, I mean, I would spend hours and days and just, just like getting tortured and seeing this over and over and the comments and the people, how they’re re ridiculing me and making fun of me and you know, all of that kind of stuff. So yeah, it’s been eight years now and, after seven years that this happened, I asked one of the girls that I knew and she actually did porn and, the reason why I reached out to her, I was like, Hey, do you know someone at this one porn company that’s a really known porn company? Right. Like, do you know someone there that could help me get this video taken down on me?
I mean, they’ve been posting this almost every day for seven years now. Wow. And every day I begged them to take this stuff down. Every day I tell ’em, Hey, I was one of the iCloud hack, leak, girls, can you please like take this stuff down on me? I don’t, it’s without my consent, it’s against my consent, it’s my copyright, everything. You know, I would say the whole spill. Right. And, they would take it down and then the next day somebody else would upload it and they will leave it up again. And then I have to beg them all over again. You know, never. Right. It’s just never ending. Basically, there’s so many layers to this. And then once you start going down the rabbit hole, you start realizing that there’s a lot of errors, but they also have a lot of technology in place, like could prevent us, but it’s a billion dollar industry, so they don’t wanna, you know, I implement it,
Fight The New Drug (12:01):
Disrupt that profit.
Yeah. Basically, because the more searchable you are, the more money you will make and you know, people gonna look you up. But the more, clickbait you are or, the captions, the more out, more like outrageous captions and stuff like that, that’s what’s eye grabbing and people wanna click on. Right.
Fight The New Drug (12:25):
For the listeners that aren’t familiar or as familiar with what is image-based sexual abuse, can you talk to that? Can you speak to that a little bit and, and explain what that is exactly?
So basically what it is, is that when somebody takes your private images of you being naked or doing something intimate with your boyfriend or girlfriend and sharing it online or sharing it with, you know, publicly so that everybody could seize it, see it. so, I actually talked about this, with some other people and I was just thinking how they have a name called Revenge Porn Law Bill or something like that. Revenge porn, right? So they have laws in some states against revenge porn. So this is if a boyfriend or someone close to you leaks a private image of you or a video online. Right. But if you think about just that name, it’s revenge, right? So revenge, it’s like you did something wrong in the first place. so it’s kinda putting the blame back on you because they needed to seek revenge on you because you did something wrong.
And then porn, it’s like turning you automatically to some kind of porn star1 And even though you didn’t do porn, you didn’t do anything wrong. And some other person is like doing all the wrong things. Right. You know? So, technically I don’t, and I don’t like that name, but at least there’s some kinda law against it. But the laws, as I understand it from talking to many, many survivors, it doesn’t stand anywhere. If you go to police department, they don’t know how to help you. They haven’t been educated on any of this stuff. they don’t know how any of the cyber stuff works. I mean, there’s not enough cyber laws to begin with and technology’s updating every day, but the laws haven’t changed. So we need to catch up to technology. It’s just insanity that it is. People don’t understand that.
Fight The New Drug (14:33):
For the listeners who don’t know how common this happens, I wanted to read a stat, to, to help people understand how common, image-based sexual abuse is. So an estimated 1 in 12 US adults report that they have been victims of image-based sexual abuse and even more disturbingly 1 in 20 report that they have been perpetrators of image-based sexual abuse. Another stat that stands out to me is according to one report, approximately1 in 5 girls and 1 in 5 boys, excuse me, 1 in 10 boys aged 13 to 17 report sharing their own nudes. And 1 in 3 underage teens report having seen non-consensual shared nudes of other minors. And so those stats really hit hard because it shows how prevalent, image-based sexual abuse really is. So going back to your personal account, I’m wondering if you can speak to how you felt when you first learned that you were on the list of a hunt of the hundred that were leaked.
Basically, when I first found out that I was on the iCloud hack list, I didn’t think much of it because I always covered up and, you know, I didn’t really share, much that I wasn’t okay with, like if it, in case it get got hacked or leaked or something like that. So I always covered like my nipples and my private parts. I never showed anything that I personally sent that would be too crazy or, you know, like, worth seeing. It would be very, very similar to like a bikini photo shoot or something of that sort. Right, right. So I wasn’t too concerned about it when I first saw it and I was like, oh, well I didn’t really take anything bad, so it should be fine. Even if it got leaked, it’s, it’s not gonna be a big deal.
Yeah. not even thinking about the time that my ex-boyfriend threatened to leak, pictures and a video that he took of me and like the pictures, like I’m looking somewhere else or I’m on the phone or, you know, like I, I wasn’t even aware that he was doing stuff because I thought he was on his phone, like, you know1 So, at that time I, I was like, I didn’t know, I didn’t know that that was even gonna happen. I didn’t have a magic crystal ball to like foresee the future or, or you know, all of that good stuff or know that I was gonna be somehow hacked. To be honest with you, I didn’t even think I was relevant enough to hack1 I was just on my come up and like, I wasn’t a big name star. Like, Jennifer Lawrence and all of these big, big name celebrities. I was just on a come up and it was like no big deal. Right. I had 800,000 followers on social media, like, why would anyone wanna hack me? I just thought that that was like a weird concept, you know,. Right.
Fight The New Drug (17:33):
So did your ex-boyfriend leak them? Do you know if he leaked them or was he hacked?
No. So basically, what he did is he threatened me and he sent it to my iMessage or through iMessage. Right. And, I just ignored it. I was like, oh, he’s bluffing. He’s not gonna leak these. And thank God he actually didn’t leak them. It was just an empathy thread. But when he sent those pictures in the video to me, it went into my iMessage, which gets stored in the iCloud. Right. So that’s where I was like, oh wow. This hacker literally went through my messages and pictures. He went through everything Oh
Fight The New Drug (18:16):
And basically found those. So yeah, and you gotta think about it like he had plenty of time, like two years of just stalking all of these women and storing all of the content and it was very calculating what he did. Right. And what’s even more upsetting is that, you know, they found him and the F B A got him, he got, sentenced as a hacker and, he got only a year and a half. and he’s back home with his wife and kids like nothing happened.
Fight The New Drug (18:50):
We know that victims of image-based sexual abuse feel, they often feel powerless, helpless. in some cases even people will experience suicide ideation because of the abuse that they’ve experienced. And also it can disrupt like a person’s mental health and people can have symptoms similar to like PTSD, anxiety, depression. I’m just wondering if you can speak to how your victimization negatively impacted your mental health.
I mean, it negatively like affected every part of my life. As soon as this happened, all my sponsorships, agents, I mean, you name it, everybody dropped me and they did not wanna associate with me. They didn’t want anything to do with me. And they would let me know, like, oh, because of this thing we, we can’t associate with you. Our brand can’t associate with your brand. Right. But it was very normalized to shame you as a woman or you as the person who got the victim hacked and leaked and everything. Yeah. And they were, it was very like o they were very open about, you know, shaming you for something that you had no control over1. So it was, it was very tough because it was, you know, basically my followers were bullying me. And then, but what made it even worse was all of my peers, they were the worst ones.
Like these other comedy influencers and people that I worked with, they were on Vine, they were on, Instagram, they were on all of all of the social media platforms and they would continue to share this one video on me. And they were all re re-share it and refine it and spread it out way further than what it was already. And these people, not like people that you will think that have a couple followers here and there. These people had like 10, 20 million followers and they were really known people going around doing all of this stuff. And, you know, a lot of people don’t know about these things because I never really shared my side of the story of what really happened. So they just looked at me as like, oh yeah, look at this girl. She’s doing porn, or she’s doing all these, all of these crazy things.
Or she’s trying to just be famous or she’s a, she’s a, famous whore or something like that. Right? So I was called all these names and all of these horrible things and the worst people that were treating me the worst was my own peers, like other actors, actresses, influencers, and you know, those type of people. So, I just, what I ended up doing is, I just isolated myself because anytime I would go out, I would run into these people and they would laugh at me. They would do all these mean evil things and, continue to share it. And then they would continue to share it to bigger name people and tell them all these lies about me that were not even true. So there was a lot of block opportunities, lot of money lost, you know, followers, I mean, you name it, everything that you can imagine was lost connections, friends, people like family, like everybody knew about this.
And everybody treated me like I was some kind of villain. And my natural go-to was just to isolate, which I found out now is like, probably it wasn’t the safest thing for me to do. Probably. I probably should have tried to like, seek out some kind of help and somebody to talk to1 But also at that time, I had nobody that went through the same thing as me. nobody was talking about this publicly really. Like, except for maybe like Jennifer Lawrence had something here and there publicly, but I didn’t know her. I wasn’t friends with her, you know? Right. So even if I would talk to a couple friends, they would be nice. They would listen to me, they would hear like be there if I cried and stuff like that. But ultimately I was alone. Like, nobody understood what I was going through.
Nobody understood how, how it feels to, for everybody to shame you and making you a villain when you know you didn’t do anything1 and I, I mean, all I was doing was being a normal functioning adult, like that was my crime. So it was just weird for me to know all this. But at the same time, everybody’s basically making fun or ridiculing me, bullying me, canceling me. I mean, it was just crazy that that was happening and I had nobody to talk to. So I would say for any survivors or people out there that are going through this, there is people that are going through the same things. I mean, even me, if you wanna reach out to me, if you wanna reach out to other survivors, any foundations that are anti-trafficking, including you guys, you know, definitely reach out.
They have therapy resources, you know, they have help, help to take down the links, take down the pictures or the videos. There’s plenty of help out there that are available for people now. and they don’t have to pay for it. So I think that that’s great that they’re little by little, you know, these things are coming up now. But yeah, when I was, when it happened to me, I mean, I, I was told not to share it. Even publicists, everybody I talked to, they were like, don’t talk about it. because if you talk about it, then you bring more attention to it. And then if you bring more attention to it, then you’re gonna relive it like it happened yesterday. Wow. But what I noticed was that every time I would do something great, you know, I would isolate myself and just focus on work and trying to better myself and this kind of stuff.
Right. And every time I did something great and I would put it out there, one person would come and say, oh, she has done this. And then everybody would like, focus on that. Nobody would focus on the work1. So again, anything great I would do, it will be overshared by this thing that happened. That was my trauma, that was my worst time in my life. Right. So when things like this happen, it’s not that you basically, you know, you get violated once and then it’s over. It’s living on, and they’re dragging it out and reminding you about your abuse every single day, every minute. Like it’s, it’s never ending1. And, it, it’s in, in my opinion, I mean, it’s like a digital rape and it’s a trauma that is forever like immortalized and everybody’s profiting it from it except for you. Everybody’s benefiting from it somehow except for you.
Fight The New Drug (26:05):
Yeah. Well, that’s really sad. And going back to that stat, I mentioned that 1 in 12, it’s estimated that 1 in 12 US adults have been victims of image-based sexual abuse. And you were one of those victims unfortunately.
And actually there’s probably way more because people don’t talk about it, like how b I was told don’t talk about it, don’t do anything. It’s gonna go away. Like it will die down. You know, or there’s people, there’s so many people that don’t even know that they’re online. Right. you know, like I, I mean, I even just talked to this woman, she was married for 12 years and her husband was putting up hidden cameras and filming them and recording her and having her naked and, you know, all kinds of stuff and sharing this stuff online, and she had no idea.
Fight The New Drug (26:57):
Yeah. It’s an underground issue. So it’s tough to get true stats.
Yeah. More people need to come out if they’re ready. I support it. Like, I’m here for you. Like, the more people come out, survivors speak up about this, I think it would, it would, you know, make the world of a difference.
Fight The New Drug (27:16):
Yeah. You mentioned that you had a tendency to isolate and then also people within your circles were encouraging the isolation and also encouraging you to not talk about it because it would negatively impact your career and whatnot1. But as human beings, we’re hardwired for connection. Were hardwired for intimacy. When I say intimacy, I’m saying generally speaking, being close to someone feeling belong, like a a sense of belonging. so we’re hardwired for these things. And you went through a stage where you were isolating, and I’m wondering if you can speak to how it negatively impacted your ability to connect with other people, not in regards to your business connections, but in regards to like, intimate connections, romantic partners1 How, how has it negatively impacted, or how did it negatively impact that aspect of your life, your love and romantic life?
Oh my God. I mean, it’s been a nightmare. Just all of it, you know? So basically I isolated myself, right. And, I wouldn’t let people in because in the beginning, I, I tried to go on a couple dates here and there, and the first thing the guy would go to was that I was some kind of easy girl, or it was gonna be easy to have sex with me or something because there’s a video of me, right. So now all of a sudden I’m just supposed to have sex with all these random guys that wanna go on a day with me or something. So I noticed quickly on that I can’t really go on dates. I can’t really, you know, get in any kind of relationships like that because people are just assuming that I’m like, promiscuous or something, or, you know,
Fight The New Drug (29:02):
They have this, this false perception of you.
Yeah, exactly. And that was very, very difficult at that time. I mean, I would come home and I would just cry and cry and like, like how I know it’s bad. Like, you know, they would refer to the video while I’m sitting there and, you know, it’s just like this weird, concept of how I went from being like a respected woman and, you know, guys would do anything to like, just even get the chance to talk to me. And now they’re being so disrespectful and and rude and, you know, like, it, it just, it was very upsetting. So when it came to that, I just stopped. I just stopped dating as much. I stopped, kind of entertaining those kind of things. And again, isolating myself. And the problem with that was that my walls were up so high that I wouldn’t let anyone in.
You know, I went through all of the stages, like, oh, who’s gonna want me? You know, now when there’s this video of me out there, I look like I’m doing porn. I never even been this girl, I look like a prostitute or whatever. Like I, you know, all of these things that people were telling me, I started kind of being like, yeah, you know, that this is what people think of me now. And I know I’m not this person and I had the world of potential and the world of like, was ahead of me and all these opportunities, but now I just, I look like I’m damaged goods or something, you know? So how do you, how do you deal with something like that? And the only way was that I had to just really work on myself and try to heal myself, try to love myself. And, yeah. So that’s basically like what it is now, finally, I’m in a place where I’m like, I love myself. But yeah, it was, it was a very hard long journey.
Fight The New Drug (30:58):
So yeah. This is a lot. Thanks.
Fight The New Drug (31:02):
Yeah, it is a lot. And we appreciate you speaking to it today. You are a person who values yourself, you know, your worth. Can you speak to that a little bit more about how you gained that, how you were able to change your perception of yourself? Because you spoke to how important it is, you can’t really change the perception that other people hold. Yeah. But you started with yourself and then you worked from there. So if we have any listeners that are victims of image-based sexual abuse and they have this negative perception of themselves, do you have any advice for them of how to change that perception? What tools or resources resources did you use to accomplish that?
Well, honestly, I tried everything. Like, I tried the whole meditation thing. I tried to talk to some therapists, and what I noticed, helped me the most was like audiobooks, I don’t know, it sounds like really funny. But,
Fight The New Drug (32:00):
The cool thing about that is that it’s a very affordable tool.
Yeah, exactly. And audiobooks, you could do it while you’re driving and you know, you could do other things and you can listen and, and you know, these books, they’re like, you listen to them and then all of a sudden out of the blue you have like this aha moment where you’re like, oh my god. And it obviously happens while you’re driving, but then you kind of like have to pull over and park and realize like, oh my God, this is what I’ve been doing. So, I read a couple books that really helped me, and one of them was, you can heal your life. and another one was, anxiety and relationships. And I remember I looked at the title of the book and I remember I’m like, anxiety and relationships. What the hell? What is this about? Like, I didn’t think much of it, but then I start realizing that, you know, even other people, you know, maybe some, you are with some guy and the guy cheats, right?
And a lot of it has to do with, you know, if there’s something good in your life, you’re starting to self-sabotage and then basically pushing this person away that was actually really good and everybody’s doing it, but different ways and it all stems to like different issues of your life. Maybe there’s like abandonment issues or maybe there’s other issues. Right. It was just very eye-opening for me to read those. And then there’s like a million other books obviously, but, I think the Louise Hay one is very like, you know, good beginners, kind of book.
Fight The New Drug (33:39):
Because yeah, those negative experiences that we have in life can really present themselves over and over and over. And like you said, it, it can turn into a type of self sabotage, the way we respond to current events can be influenced by past negative events. So that’s really good, a really good resource to know about. Yeah. As we’ve discussed your experience, you mentioned the DMCA takedown request process.
Fight The New Drug (34:11):
Can you speak to that a little bit more of what that is and why you were going down that route?
Yeah. So basically the DMCA, stands short for Digital Millennium Copyright Act. And basically, when you requested the DMCA take down requests, when it’s to these porn sites or any sites, in Google and all of these people, basically you send them a copyright, request and you’re like, Hey, these images or this video is my copyright and it’s being posted without my consent. Right? But the issue is a lot of these people don’t take it down, you know, so you might go to the porn sites and ask them, right, they don’t wanna take it down, then you have to go to Google and request that. They take it down. And then there’s also these situations, like in my, case where they leave the source site up Google, everyone, they always leave the source site up for everybody to be able to download these videos and pictures for all eternity just because it’s located in another country. So this is their way of kind of saying, oh, yeah, well, we can’t because there’s a law that says it’s located in another country, so we can’t do anything about it. But it lives on Google.
Fight The New Drug (35:37):
Throughout your process, when did you start to see a light at the end of the tunnel?
I honestly think that, the light at the end of the tunnel was when I started realizing that, you know, nobody else is talking about this. Nobody else is doing anything about this. You know, I’m looking at the bigger name celebrities, nobody pursued this, you know, and time is going by. And I started realizing, well, why, why don’t I make a short film to talk about this issue? you know, and kind of go through the whole film festival circuit and try to put it out there just as awareness. Right? Right. And, then I was like, when I was thinking about that, I’m like, well, you know what, why not go up bigger than that? I’ll do the short film, see how that goes. if it does good, then I can use that as a tool, which it did. It got like 20 awards.
Uh, it was also like fiction too. So I added like more stuff to it. But basically it’s technically on a true story and then it’s also fiction. Right. So that went good. And then I was like, okay, well the short film was good, but did it really bring that much awareness? Mm. Like a little bit, but more in the film festival, circuit circuits. What about all of the other people? There’s like so many people, right, well, I’m gonna, I’m gonna change the law. That’s what I gotta do. There’s nobody else doing it and it’s gonna be on me. I’m gonna do it. You know? So that’s kind of what happened in my mind. I was like, thinking that nobody else is doing this, so why not just me? Let me just go for it. What else do I have to lose? I mean, the worst has already happened, right?
I started pursuing it and as soon as I started pursuing it, everything just kind of fell in my lap and it just started unraveling. Like, I started connecting with all of these anti-trafficking, nonprofit companies and, you know, with you guys with like so many and then so many survivors. And it just, everything just kind of fell in my lap. I mean, I went to Capitol Hill and I talked about this, and I’m just amazed in like how I just decided, oh, well I’m gonna do something about it. And I just said, okay, let’s go. And then it just kind of happened just like that. So I think that what really is helpful is sharing your story and taking whatever happened to you. It doesn’t matter what happened and how horrible it’s been. I know like it coulda, it could have been some crazy stuff, but whatever it is, you can always take that and transmute it and turn it into a positive and helping other people so that this doesn’t happen to other people.
And yeah, it happened unfortunately to you, but you can use that as a tool to help other people. And I think that that’s what kind of gives you your power back and heals you. At the same time too. I know a lot of survivors that it just happened to them a year or two years ago, and they’re still on their healing journey, and this is a part of their process. So some days, you know, they’re, they feel great because we’re on our way to changing the law and stuff. And some days, you know, a video comes up or somebody says something or something happens, right? And they’re, they, they feel it like all over again. For me now, I’m at a point where I’m just like, they said everything in the book about me. So, you know, the divorce has already happened and it’s just, you know, like up from here,. Right. Hopefully. Right. You know? Yeah. So, yeah.
Fight The New Drug (39:35):
So it’s common knowledge that it’s not easy to get laws changed. Yes. There’s big processes behind that, have there been any changes in policies or laws since 2014?
No. From 2014, there’s, well, there’s like the revenge porn laws, so there’s some things in place, but like I said, the revenge porn, bill isn’t really, it’s not working the way it’s supposed to. It’s not very beneficial. There’s something there, but it’s not, it’s not doing as much as it could. Right. So that needs to still be changed and amended. And then also there needs to be way more, cyber laws in general because there’s not a lot of laws when it comes to cyberspace. so that’s basically what we’re working on, is just trying to get that out there more and showing all of the senators and, you know, the lawmakers on how damaging something like this is. Because I think a lot of the issues is, before all of this happen where survivors will come out and speak about this, like me and other people, there’s not that many right now, but, you know, it just sounds like math to these people.
There’s, it is just all these complicated terminology and, you know, things that are kind of hard to associate with because you’re just like, what, what is, what is that? And what is going on? So I think a lot of senators and lawmakers, they might get a little intimidated when somebody that is not a survivor talks about this stuff. Right. but then you have people like me and, there’s another girl named Victoria and and Caitlin that I went to Capitol Hill with, and we are real people sharing our real stories about how damaging it was. And we’re not using all these crazy terminology. We’re just simplified as so good that anyone can understand it. Yeah. And, and it’s just making the world of a difference because it’s just, it’s, you know, real victims.
Fight The New Drug (41:45):
It’s a personal account. Personal accounts are powerful in that way. Yeah. That makes sense. We will include the video of you speaking on Capitol Hill Yeah. So that our listeners can see that we’re coming to the end of our, of our time.
Fight The New Drug (42:00):
And I just am wondering how we can support you, how our listeners can support you.
Oh, yeah, that’s a great question. So I started my own nonprofit 501c3, and, it’s called Foundation Raw and Protect America’s Daughters is for this specific cause. And, anyone can like sign the petition, donate whatever you can, any kind of support will be helpful. Even if you’re a survivor, feel free to reach out and, you know, just talk or if you want help, anything. So I think it’s very important that survivors stick together and you have like a support system. And, yeah, you can also follow me on social media. It’s @Uldouz, U L D O U Z, on all the social media platforms. And that’s about it.
Fight The New Drug (42:57):
We want to leave you with the opportunity to have the last word during this conversation, during this interview. Yeah. If there’s anything left that has been left unsaid or anything on your heart or mind that you would want to reemphasize, now is the time to do that.
Yes. that’s a, that’s a good point. So I was thinking about, you know, what you guys are doing and the same things that happened to me and all of that kind of stuff. And I just wanna tell everyone that, you know, if you’re watching porn or if you’re going on there that you really don’t know what you’re watching. in my scenario, clearly it was against my consent. Even in the videos it says hacked and leaked, which shows that it’s against consent. But anyone can change the names. Anyone can put any kind of captions and thumbnails and whatever. There’s plenty of content online now that’s against consent. It’s unverified content. You might even be watching child pornography and all kinds of crazy stuff. So when you go on there and you basically watch something, you really don’t know what you’re watching. Right. Just keep in mind that you are watching somebody’s rape, you’re watching somebody’s abuse, you’re watching, someone, you know, that’s a child. there’s a lot of things that you are watching and you’re contributing to whether you want to or not. so just keep that in mind. You really don’t know where you’re stumbling upon. Sometimes
Fight The New Drug (44:40):
Your personal account emphasizes the importance of considering before consuming Yeah. Like you talked about. And it’s something to consider. So we wanna say thanks again for joining us on the podcast today.
Yeah, for sure. Thanks for having me.
Fight The New Drug (44:56):
Yeah, it was a pleasure.
Thanks for joining us on this episode of Consider Before Consuming. Consider Before Consuming is brought to you by Fight the New Drug. Fight The New Drug is a non-religious and a non legislative organization that exists to provide individuals the opportunity to make an informed decision regarding pornography by raising awareness on its harmful effects, using only science, facts and personal accounts. Check out the episode notes for resources mentioned in this episode. If you find this podcast helpful, consider subscribing and leaving a review. Consider Before Consuming is made possible by listeners like you. If you’d like to support, consider before Consuming, you can make a one-time or recurring donation of any amount at ftnd.org/support. That’s F-T-N-D.O-R-G/support. Thanks again for listening. We invite you to increase your self-awareness, look both ways, check your blind spots, and consider before consuming.
Fight the New Drug collaborates with a variety of qualified organizations and individuals with varying personal beliefs, affiliations, and political persuasions. As FTND is a non-religious and non-legislative organization, the personal beliefs, affiliations, and persuasions of any of our team members or of those we collaborate with do not reflect or impact the mission of Fight the New Drug.
MORE RESOURCES FROM FTND
A database of the ever-growing body of research on the harmful effects of porn.