Intro (00:00:11):
In today’s episode, we’re joined by Miyo Strong, who shares her journey into self-defense and her role with the Elizabeth Smarts Foundation Smart Defense Program. Inspired by her daughters, Miyo began training at Brazilian Jiujitsu and other martial arts. She discusses her experiences with sexual abuse and stalking, which fueled her passion for self-defense. Miyo highlights smart defense’s, unique trauma-informed approach, combining physical techniques and breath work with education on sexual violence, consent and self-worth emphasizing intuition, community and self-love. The program aims to empower women and build resilience. The interview also emphasizes how pornography often distorts perceptions of consent and normalizes harmful behaviors contributing to a culture of violence and exploitation. Join us as Miyo discusses how smart defense is redefining self-defense and empowering women. We hope you enjoy this episode of Consider Before Consuming.

Fight The New Drug (00:01:13):
Okay. Hey, Miyo. Good morning. Welcome. I’m so happy to have you here. I’m excited for our listeners to get to hear about the amazing work that you do that I have been so lucky to experience, and I want everyone to get a chance to experience it. But first, before we get too far, can you introduce yourself? Tell us a little bit about how you got into this work in the first place.

Miyo (00:01:32):
Yes. So my name is Miyo Strong, and I’m a mother first and foremost. I have two beautiful, tenacious, crazy stubborn teenage girls in my home. And I originally got into this self-defense space many, many years ago, and it was because of my daughters. Most every important choice in my life is made surrounding how it impacts. But I originally got into mixed martial arts, which would be Brazilian Mohai kickboxing and Kav Maga many, many years ago. I’ve been competing coaching, training and those for a long time. But Brazilian juujitsu was really where my heart is, and that’s really where I started this journey was with that specific martial art. And that was in the late nineties. Those of you that remember the UFC when it first got started, that was the decade, the nineties is when it started, and it started with these very smart businessmen, the Gracie family, and they did this show, the Ultimate Fighting Championship that pitted every single martial art against each other.

(00:02:44):
This was way before MMA was actually a thing. And so you would see boxers, wrestlers, sumo wrestlers, you’d see Muay Thai, you’d see Brazilian jiujitsu, you’d see any type, you’d see karate, TaeKwonDo, anything like that. And Brazilian Jiujitsu is really what always came out on top. And I was kind of a small statured human from the beginning. And it is touted, jiujitsu is touted as the martial art for the smaller weaker opponent to have advantages. And at the time in the nineties when I was really looking for something else to do, I had just completed playing every high school sport you could. And I had turned down a college soccer scholarship to stay home with my family, to be close to my grandparents. And I was kind of looking for the next thing. And the UFC was just getting started. And I was totally intrigued by the fight culture, by the idea and concept behind smaller, weaker people having the advantage.

(00:03:48):
And also, I had been a survivor of sexual abuse for over a decade, and I also had a stalker as a freshman in college. And so I was looking for something and I’ve always been feisty and a fighter and kind of going against the grain. So it was a really good fit for me in the nineties, and I did it for a couple years and then decided to quit for a little while. I focused on school, I got married, I built my family and my career, and then decided to go back once my youngest, who’s now 14, was about three. And I was thinking, well, it’s about time for me to put me first again and how am I going to do this? And martial arts was the perfect fit.

Fight The New Drug (00:04:36):
It’s so interesting how all of these kind of perfect moments of your life have led you into this space that you’re in now with the Elizabeth Smart Foundation. So can you tell us a little bit about that transition to get connected with the Elizabeth Smart Foundation and some of the work you’re doing now at Smart Defense?

Miyo (00:04:53):
Yes. So I get asked all the time, how in the world did you and Elizabeth connect? And it’s actually from my junior high crush, Dave Gray. Look at that. I know. It’s so funny. And he actually runs a nonprofit now called Bridge Camp. We love Dave Gray. Yes. Oh, that’s right. He’s amazing, right? So he had known, I was in the self-defense space, but he actually didn’t really realize how much more depth I had in the martial arts as far as a competitor and a coach. He knew I was teaching that kind of part-time. And he connected us because his father used to run, I think he’s since retired, the Lifestar Therapy Group. So long story short, he got us connected. It took me a long, long time to get hired, which I love because I do your due diligence, make sure it’s the right fit.

(00:05:43):
But I think I had three or four interviews before they offered me the job, which is great. I love that. And it really is my dream job. And it really did come at time that I feel like was fortuitous, serendipitous, whatever the word is you want to use. Because I had just started the separation and divorce process. I was in a major crossroads in my own life. I had been in the professional photography space for over 20 years and was just not as passionate anymore about, it was a little bit jaded through some things that happened at my old studio and was ready for change. And this kind of came right at the perfect timing. Not only did I need health insurance all of a sudden on my own, I also really was done living my life to please others. And I feel like while I’d never ever regret a day of my photography career, I’m a third generation photographer. And so it was very much expected of me to follow in this pathline, which I’m so grateful for. It’s brought me so many positive things. But if I’m being honest with my true core self, doing what I do right now with Smart Defense is my dream job. And I actually get to do that. Not very many people get to go to work every day and think, hell yes, this is what I was meant to be doing.

Fight The New Drug (00:07:05):
And we’re so glad you’re doing this work because you’re the perfect person to be doing this work. Can you tell our listeners a little bit about what Smart Defense is and why it’s different from traditional self-defense

Miyo (00:07:17):
Classes? Yes, yes, it is so very, very different and it’s something that I’m very proud of and a little bit of background. I’d been coaching self-defense for a long time, and one of my best friends, Chelsea Kack, she actually sat on the U Casa board and she’s very well versed. I think her master’s degree is in women’s health, women’s studies. She understands the education surrounding sexual violence and really the importance of consent and boundaries and all of these things that I knew were important too. But I didn’t realize it until I started working with her. And then when Elizabeth and I started working together, I feel like smart Defense in its current form right now is unlike anything else on the market as far as the approach, the effectiveness, just the data backed programming. And what we do is, so one of the main things that sets us apart is we’re all female led, and we also are all trauma-informed, trained, which is super important because about 70% of our students are survivors. So that trauma-informed training was given to us through the generosity of U casa, the Utah Coalition against Sexual Assault. It’s interesting to me how that relationship and that partnership came about. I think it’s worth doing a detour here. Traditional self-defense programs are very focused on victim blaming rape culture language. Traditionally, they’re led by very old school martial artists like male, dominantly male coaches. In fact, I don’t think I ever had a single female coach my entire career.

(00:09:00):
I didn’t

Fight The New Drug (00:09:02):
Think I ever took a self-defense class before I did. Smart Defense that wasn’t led by a male also.

Miyo (00:09:06):
Yeah, it’s interesting. And our program, what we’ve done is we’ve taken the outline of what was Smart Defense 1.0. And because my husband, who is a retired MMA fighter and a very, very highly accomplished juujitsu practitioner and Stryker, all the things, he’s amazing because we have this really, really high level of trust, we were able to take the program framework and do it 80 or 90% and really realize quickly what was and wasn’t effective for somebody my size because a male martial artist, sure they can do a lot of moves that are way easier for them than me. So we’ve tailored the program very much from the female perspective. And that’s only possible when you have a female leading the program. But I digress. Let me go back. So the U Casa partnership, because of the traditional negative connotation and negative bias surrounding self-defense, they were very concerned that the Elizabeth Smart Foundation was offering smart defense. And so they reached out and said, I don’t know that we can get on board and whatever. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Time out. Let me talk to them. Let me find out. I’m curious, why are they saying that? I’m curious how we can meet together in the middle. I’m curious how we can still reach survivors from a different vantage point.

Fight The New Drug (00:10:33):
And just really quickly, for any listeners who are maybe confused about what could that negative lens be, you mean giving women tips of don’t wear ponytails because that makes it easier for someone to attack you or making you the owner of having to protect yourself by changing the way that you exist in the world as opposed to that’s kind of what you’re talking about.

Miyo (00:10:56):
Yes. The victim blaming language like, well, you shouldn’t have been at that party drunk in the first place,

Fight The New Drug (00:11:01):
Or Yes, you shouldn’t have worn that outfit. You were asking for it. You were.

Miyo (00:11:04):
Yes. Yes. And traditional self-defense was also geared towards the stranger in the dark alley type of attacks, which we know are very, very small rare percentage of sexual violence and the victim blaming language and the rape culture, I think connotations just being driven in a male space, just a naive male space. Men are wonderful. We have a ton of wonderful men that work in our program, so it’s not to bash men at all, but I think that male driven, male led piece was a big wake up call. And so when I met with U Casa and explain the programming and they got to understand a little bit more about what we represent and the holistic approach we take, they offered to do a partnership. So they now trauma inform all of our coaching staff, which is amazing. Yeah, we’re so grateful for that partnership. And Bethany Crisp, actually, she’s amazing.

(00:12:00):
She just led another training for us in person. Of course, the finding and the founding of Smart Defense 2.0 was during Covid, so we had to pivot a lot on a lot of things. And our first trauma-informed training classes were all online, but now we do them in person. So that partnership, I really felt like that elevated us to another level and gained some respect from a community that maybe doesn’t. I see the new approach that we’re taking. We also incorporate a ton of breath work and meditation. So we do the core self-defense techniques. They’re wonderful, they’re effective, they’re great. But then we pair it with this trauma-informed coaching, which is very, very important. We spend a lot of time on education surrounding sexual violence and internet safety, grooming red flags and relationships like you name it. We go over the whole gamut of sexual violence, but we also incorporate this breathwork and meditation in a way to push forward a somatic therapeutic experience.

(00:13:09):
So soma is a Greek word for body, and somatic therapy is essentially processing trauma or experiences by moving your body. And a lot of our program is based loosely on the book. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel VanDerKolk and also The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. And you talk to any martial artist, they’ve read the Gift of Fear. You talk to any person in the sexual violence prevention space, they’ve read, the Body Keeps the Score. So I feel like it’s this blend of both worlds because what we’ve always done is not working. Sexual violence is rampant, and I believe it’s higher than ever, and there are many reasons why I think that is. But one of them could be that people are reporting more than they ever have, but still not at the rates that I know that sexual violence is happening just with my day-to-Day experiences with survivors.

(00:14:03):
But smart defense is really the blend of the mind body, soul is kind of how I explain it. It’s working with that mental strength and that mindset because safety mindset matters a great deal, and your intuition and your gut instincts, all of our tools that we have already. And then it’s pairing it with some great physical ways to express yourself. And then we’re also taking care of our souls by we’re building a community of incredible women, connection, community and connection. We know that’s one of the core pillars of having a happy, fulfilled life as a human. And then we also pair this, we really, really focus on the self-worth aspect. And you’re a female. I’m a female. We are the meanest to ourselves, the way we speak to ourselves sometimes. Well, oftentimes it breaks my heart when I hear even how my daughter speak to themselves in their heads.

(00:15:09):
So changing that narrative and changing those habits and creating a more positive, loving, supportive pathway and being our biggest supporter because knowing that we are truly worthy of healthy relationships, we’re worthy of healthy boundaries, we’re worthy of love, we’re worthy of safety, all of those things, I believe you’re then more capable to set a clear boundary and to enforce that boundary sooner when you realize like, no, no, no, no, no, stop. I don’t deserve this. I am worthy of better than this. And so seeing those red flags earlier is also I think a great byproduct that comes out of your smart defense training. Absolutely.

Fight The New Drug (00:15:54):
And I think feeling empowered in your own body to use your own voice to take up space in the world. I would love if you would just walk through kind of the order of operations of how a class works, because I think there’s something so beautiful about the way that you’ve started these classes, at least a class I had the opportunity to take and would love to take so many more because it really does start with establishing comfort in taking up space in the world, I think, which shockingly so many of us aren’t comfortable doing that when it really matters. So will you walk us through a little bit about what that looks like?

Miyo (00:16:28):
Yes, yes. So we have a scaffolding program, meaning everything you learn in week one, you’re going to need for week two, week three, week four. And we have several different presentations of smart defense. You got a taste of Smart Defense with a seminar. So we do a lot of corporate seminars, a lot of private group seminars, and those are just a little taste of what we do. But you do get an overview of how our program is built. One, everything we do is consent based. So that is a gold standard across the board. Our staff will model that behavior and we invite you as students to model that behavior as well. So we have very clear communication. Not only is consent very essential, but also the tap and many martial arts that are listening will understand tapping out. We try to lay the groundwork early that you are in control of how far you want to take this because at any point you can tap out at any point, the tap will always be respected.

(00:17:28):
So we start with taking up space, body language, using your voice, and it’s a good icebreaker, but it’s also really good for women to realize that, oh, we don’t have to punch, kick roll, do all sorts of crazy kios in this class. No, there’s so much more to that. So body language and using your voice are things that then throughout the rest of the program, you’re going to need to use. And it’s not just sexual violence that you need body language and taking up space right at work, asking for the raise you deserve or in your neighborhood asking for your neighbor’s dog, quit pooping on your lawn, whatever it is. Using your voice with a calm capable approach is really what our goal is. And it’s like anything, it’s like riding a bike. You have to practice in order to keep your proficiency up. So everything we do in the first section with body language and using your voice, you need to use when we pair it with the martial arts techniques or when we pair it with the breath work, how many people hate to go, right? That’s hard for people to do in a group, but I’m so loud and all my coaches are loud. And it does really take a little bit of the embarrassment away when everybody else is being loud and you are invited to take up space and use that voice with everything we do. Yeah, it

Fight The New Drug (00:18:57):
Really is amazing. And for anyone who has an opportunity to take a smart defense training, I encourage you to do so, and I might see you there because I would love to

Miyo (00:19:07):
Be there. Well, and one of the things that I really love about our program that’s so different from anything else I’ve ever seen on the market is that we have a very aggressive alumni program. So if you’ve come through our regular Smart defense course, which is an eight to 10 hour course now that can be broken up into 2, 3, 4, 5, up to eight weeks, you are invited to come back for free for life to any of our public trainings. And I would say we have about a 30 to 40% rate of alumni coming back because like I mentioned earlier, you have to practice to stay proficient. And that community that we’re working on building as well comes into play. So our alumni come back and they actually can help our new students just as much as I can by leading and showing and sharing their experiences.

(00:19:56):
So that alumni program is something I’m really, really excited about. But one of the things that I didn’t mention in the way our format is for traditional smart defense is it’s all female led, like I mentioned, but halfway through the program, we invite our male coaches into the space with us. And the reason we do that is there’s several reasons, but number one is men are great, they are great, there are great healthy male allies everywhere. And the messaging of all men are bad is not one that we believe in. We have fabulous men, but also another reason we do that is because 98% of all sexual violence happens at the hands of a male. And so it’s great if they can do all the moves with me, but what’s even better is if they can do it with our male coaches. And I tell everyone in our class, if you can do it with our male coaches, you can do it with anybody because these men are not the average American male.

(00:21:00):
They are amazingly athletic and charismatic and coordinated and very strong. Very strong. And I love that my husband’s one of them because he is like the epitome of the safe male, and he is, he’s giant and not the average American male. So if you can flip my husband who is 6 3, 2 20, you are going to be able to flip the average five, nine, whatever American male that we have. One of the other things that I love about our program, along with inviting the men into our space, halfway through we have something called the bully beat down, which when you mentioned how empowered you are feeling working with our male coaches, wait till you get to do a bully beat down. It’s my favorite day of the whole entire program. Our male coaches who are highly skilled, highly trained, highly vetted, come head to toe in SWAT gear.

(00:21:53):
They have a helmet, mouth guard, tube cups, like you name it. They are there to offer an experience where you are asked to pressure test your skillset. It’s at the very end of all of your training, and you get an opportunity to go 110% in a safe controlled environment, well controlled in parentheses, it’s controlled in that you have the tap, it’s controlled in that your coaches are there to coach you through it if you forget a move. But when you are in a stressful situation, when your adrenaline spikes, when your cortisol levels are out of whack, you tend to react differently. And so we want you to have an opportunity in a safe environment to pressure test everything you’ve learned because really we don’t give you an entire set of techniques and say, okay, these are the only ones you can use. We help you find what works for you, what works for your body, what works for your coordination, what works for any different size or ability. And that’s one of the reasons why I love our very high standards for the skillset that our coaches have to have because I’d say over 50% of each, the classes I’ve personally coached, we have somebody that’s come in that has had an experience that’s not in our curriculum that wants to know, well, what can I do in this situation physically? And we’ll show them a physical way to move their body to their advantage, to create space to get away.

Fight The New Drug (00:23:24):
And that’s sometimes even you are figuring that out in real time with your husband as someone there says, oh, let’s see. What would that look like until you figure it

Miyo (00:23:33):
Out, right? Yes. But we never want to say to anybody like, well, I don’t know, or, no, that’s dumb, right? We always, okay, cool, let’s work through it. Let’s figure it out. And we’ve had several moves added to our curriculum from our students who have said, Hey, this happened to me. This happened to my friend, or This is the position I was in at work or at school. What can we do from here? And so we’ve added that. We also add things constantly through the news. Recently, I think within the last year, there was that woman who there was an attempted abduction from Home Depot. She was working, it was middle of the day, and the security cameras caught how he had grabbed her and tried to move her away. Well, it was a unique way he grabbed her. It wasn’t in our program. So we’re like, okay, let’s troubleshoot it. Perfect. Put a video out and we’ve got some options, which

Fight The New Drug (00:24:21):
Is so helpful to know that you’re not just showing up to get a rubric that could or could not help you. You can ask for the things we actually need and you’re adding the things we actually need. And it’s incredibly thoughtful and empowering to know that someone is doing this work.

Miyo (00:24:37):
Thank you.

Fight The New Drug (00:24:38):
Thank you. I want to ask you a little bit about two quick things. You mentioned modifying for physical ability or experience. Can you expound a little bit on how you would accommodate individuals with varying physical abilities? I think that’s sometimes a barrier of entry for people wanting to take a self-defense training of any kind if they think, well, I’m not physically able, which is all the more reason perhaps that they should. But can you tell us how you would modify for different individuals?

Miyo (00:25:05):
Yes, definitely. We have had as young as five in our kids’ camp. We do a kids’ camp for five to 10, so the varying degrees of development there, so we can modify for that. But I think our youngest participant in our regular class was 10, 11 maybe, and our oldest was in her seventies. So very, very huge range of abilities in between there. And just a side note, that woman in her seventies had the strongest grip I’ve ever felt. Amazing. And I was like, oh my gosh, are you a rock climber? Do you do jujitsu? Why do you have this grip? And she’s like, I don’t know. I’ve never done sports. I’ve never done anything. Wow. She’s like, what do you do? She’s like, I garden. I’m like, well, those weed pulling muscles are working amazing. She was incredible. So it is really about finding your strengths, whether it’s your grip or that you can fall and jump up off the floor like a 10-year-old can.

(00:26:00):
They could do it better than me even. So modifying comes in a lot of forms, especially for developmental delays or anything. We can definitely modify things. For example, we had a student who had a really hard time falling and getting up off the ground. No problem. We stacked our mats up and made the distance shorter, and then we troubleshot at our home. So fall on the bed to start because higher up off the ground, then we’re going to learn how to fall on the couch. That’s a baby step down. When you get comfortable with that, we’re going to fall on stacked up things. So there’s ways to baby step up and down. And I think that comes just from our whole staff has coached for years. And so we’re used to tailoring things to the abilities of our students. And Brazilian jiujitsu, Muay Hai, KRA, it’s for everybody. We can modify things, especially we’ve had, we had a woman who was wheelchair bound, so we worked different escapes with her upper body. And then we actually, with her consent, we went through what would happen if her chair was tipped over, okay, how do we address this? And for me, that was brand new, but with the support of our staff and experts, we had a great plan for her in place by the time she was done.

Fight The New Drug (00:27:20):
Amazing. And the bottom line is, this is for everyone. You said it a moment ago, but training is for everyone. There’s no one who can’t gain something from being able to participate in these courses, including men, which we’ve talked about. These are courses for women that we’ve talked about thus far. But can you tell us a little bit about the men’s program?

Miyo (00:27:41):
Yes. So our men’s program is kind of twofold, and working with the Elizabeth Smart team has been amazing. And Elizabeth herself is like my idol. She’s incredible. But from years prior to me working with Elizabeth, and then the first couple of years working with Elizabeth and learning more and more and more about the sexual violence space, I realized, man, sexual violence is not a women’s issue. I mean, I already knew that, but in the prevention space, especially 2% of the perpetrators are female. So we’re not actually going to even touch the prevention space until we reach the audience that are the perpetrators. Now, again, dudes, I’ve said, all men are not bad. We have amazing men. So don’t take any offense to this, but because 98% of all sexual violence happens at the hands of men, we have to address the male audience to really truly start the prevention pathway. Because for me, the analogy of the river, I’m saving people from the river, from the river, from the river, but wait, if we go up river, we find out why they’re falling in. And so we want to really work into the space of prevention. And the only way to do that effectively, I feel like, is to reach men’s, the male population. So my counterpart, Marcus Johnson, who I hope you got to have him on here, loves

Fight The New Drug (00:29:06):
Him

Miyo (00:29:06):
On here, amazing total self-defense nerd. I love him. But he’s also very, very capable and he’s self-proclaimed self defense, but he’s also very, very capable in so many different areas. And we had partnered early on with a gentleman named Marty Ricardo, who I will not cry, but he passed away tragically last year. And anyways, he was so much of the education that we brought to our men’s program. So like I mentioned, our men’s program is twofold. We do have a curriculum and a program designed for male survivors, a hundred percent. Those male survivors deserve every asset or every opportunity that female survivors have. But we also have this other male program that is focused on education empowerment, and it’s a strength-based approach to bystander intervention as well. Because how many times, especially on the news, do we see an assault or attempted kidnapping or something awful happening with bystanders standing around?

(00:30:16):
Right? There is a couple of very well-publicized ones here in Utah a couple of years ago where men just stood around and watched. And we need to empower the community, and that includes our men to be able to recognize report, step in if they need to use their voice, distract, deescalate. There are so many tools, it’s not just pulling a gun. It’s not just stepping in between and punching someone. That’s not what the program is. It is a very well put together, well thought out, well researched strength-based approach to bystander intervention. And Marty Ricardo, his job for many, many years, I mean he sat on U CASA’s board on rape recovery center’s board. I mean, he’s been in this space for so long, but before he came to us, he was the men’s violence prevention specialist for the entire state of Utah. And he was frustrated, right?

(00:31:06):
Frustrated, the same old thing is not working, and so what can we do differently? And he really helped design the education and science and data backing that our men’s program incorporates. And Marcus, he’s Superman. Literally Superman. And when you have him on, ask him about the girl’s life he saved just like six weeks ago. Yeah, I’ll let him tell that story. But he is everything good that every male should be well, in my opinion. And he’s our leader, so he’s the program director for the men’s program. He’s out there spreading the good word and modeling this behavior and day-to-day life. And I really feel like we’re going to make big waves with that program. Yeah, I think it’s something. Do you have any anecdotes of men who’ve gone through that program and what their experience has been? Yeah, it’s interesting. You get kind of twofold. You get the guys that are like, oh

Speaker 4 (00:32:04):
Bro, I don’t need to be trained. I know what to do when I get pissed. Bodies hit the floor.

Miyo (00:32:08):
But then they get in there and they’re like, oh, I actually don’t have any physical ability. So they’re humbled, which is, I mean, I love getting humbled. It is one of the places that you grow the most. And so they’re humbled in that, right? And then a lot of men take the approach, well, I’m not a rapist, so why should I be involved? Right. Cool, bro, I’m glad you’re not a rapist, but is your best buddy or are you willing to have those tough when the rape culture vibes are out? And one of the other, I dunno if it’s an anecdote or not, but one of the things I noticed early on, I’m in a male dominated space, combat sports is sweaty, half naked men punching and grappling and trying to dominate each other. So for women to take up space in there is a whole other area that we can discuss.

(00:33:03):
But what I noticed is when I heard rape jokes or when I saw rape culture in real time and I was like, Hey bro, it’s not funny. Don’t say that or You can’t do that, or Did you know this or this? Right. I try to educate them and they would listen, right? They’re all respectful. If they’re not, my husband takes care of ’em, but they’re all respectful and they would listen and they would not do it around me anymore, but it was still happening. What it took was the peers, the other males that they’re training with being like, bro, that’s not funny anymore. You can’t say that you can’t do that. And then I haven’t heard or heard of it happening at any of the spaces that I coach or train in for years because the second it happens, a healthy male ally steps in nips it in the bud and it’s done with, right? It’s almost a lot of this naivete of the guys thinking There’s no harm in saying like, oh, well, I don’t even want to say a rape joke on here. It makes my skin crawl. But I’ve heard a million of them, especially in the grappling world, and it has totally dissipated just by strong leadership. And I

Fight The New Drug (00:34:12):
Think that’s something that’s such an important piece for our listeners who are here because they follow fight the new drug. We talk often about how pornography normalizes rape culture. There’s so much research to show that individuals who consume violent pornography are less likely to intervene as a bystander if they witness sexual assault, are less likely to intervene if they experience rape culture. And those who are not consuming those types of pornography are more likely to intervene or they won’t have normalized those experiences in the same way that those who are have regularly consumed and normalized this type of content, regularly consumed content that doesn’t represent consent and even displays a scenario that is rape porn exists, right? These are scenarios that are being normalized for people to the point where when it happens in real life, they’re not intervening. And so to know that the solution is to say, Hey, actually let’s address this.

(00:35:13):
Let’s create healthy male allies. That is the way to decrease sexual assault. That is the way to have people engaged in this issue in a way that we can actually solve it and fix it and decrease the rates, eliminate the rates of sexual assault across the board. So I love hearing about this program and the experiences of men who have been through this program, and even just around all of your male coaches, there is something different about knowing these are all men who are so committed to changing the culture on this issue, not just intervening if they were to see something, but helping to shift the culture among men in a way that is healthy. And I just love it so much, so I’m so grateful that it exists. I wanted to ask you too, about speaking about rape culture and you’re doing some work on college campuses.

(00:36:03):
We have some statistics from Smart Defense website, 28 to 25% of college women and 15% of college men are victims of forced sex during their time in college. A 2002 study revealed that 63.3% of men at one university who self-reported acts qualifying as rape or attempted rape, admitted to committing repeat rapes. More than 90% of sexual assault victims on college campuses do not report the assault. 27% of college women have experienced some form of unwanted sexual contact, and nearly two thirds of college students experienced sexual harassment. Those are alarming statistics and just the tip of the iceberg of things that individuals are experiencing. Can you speak a little bit to what you’ve seen on college campuses and with your program being integrated into college campuses?

Miyo (00:36:55):
Yes. It’s something that I’m so excited about our college programs because between the first day on campus and the first day of Christmas break or holiday break, winter break, you see that’s called the red zone. That’s when the highest rates of sexual violence on campus happen. And we always have a fall semester. And that’s right. In that same timeframe, our inaugural class at SUU Southern Utah University, I saw some incredible things happen, and not only the excitement and the empowerment and the community that we built, but we had one woman leave a relationship that was clearly going down a very dangerous path. We had two other women decide to report their on-campus rapes. One happened on campus, but another happened at a different university, a different campus, and she had transferred schools. So seeing the bravery, the strength, the courage to report, because really all those statistics that you just shared, which are very, very alarming, are all based on only reported cases.

(00:38:08):
So the numbers are staggering. So we know there are several reasons why people don’t report, but seeing this transition in this college class, just the 40 women that I got to work with of my first class that had 20, we had those three different cases, two decided to report, and one got out of a red flag relationship. And then in my second class, I saw mean every single woman walks in a certain way and walks out a different way at the end of the semester. And I really love seeing that transformation and growth, but I had three or four in my second session where they were very self-conscious, very, very wanted to just shrink into the wallpaper. And by the last class when they were raging against our male coaches in the bully beat down, and then they come off the mats and they’re like, I had no idea that was in me, right?

(00:39:04):
It’s like, no, no, no. Everybody has this. Everybody has some place in their soul that is primal, that is like, I deserve to live right? I deserve to survive this. And so seeing that growth and seeing these little very, very, just delicate and shy women still own everything that makes them them, but then become this beacon of hope and light for other people and leaders, they started trying to blend into the background, and by the end, they were the ones speaking up, answering the questions first, leading the discussions, leading the physical trainings, leading the way. Man, it’s been amazing to watch. It’s such a gift. And then I’ve also coached at Snow College, we’ve coached many, many even sorority groups. We’ve done a lot of work with this age group, and I always love seeing just the light in their eyes when they realize, oh, my gut was right. That is a red flag. Oh, he took away access to my money. Oh, yeah, that’s not a good idea. Oh, he started dictating how I dress. Oh, that’s not trusting themselves a little bit more learning to understand that their instincts are right. It’s powerful.

Fight The New Drug (00:40:21):
Are there, obviously so much of this is tactile and physical, but are there any kind of broad tips or things you think are really significant that maybe a lot of people just don’t know that it would be helpful to share with any of our listeners, especially those who are not in a geographic location, to be able to take a smart defense training?

Miyo (00:40:45):
Yes. PS we do have an online training Smart defense.

Fight The New Drug (00:40:48):
Amazing. Let’s talk more about that. I did know that, but let’s

Miyo (00:40:51):
Talk more about it. No, we do, yes, but it’s always better to train in person. But right now we’re in Idaho, Colorado, Nevada, and Utah with hopes to expand. But yes, to answer your question, just some tips and tricks is I think there’s a handful of things. Body language is huge. So I tell all my classes when I go into public speak or when I go into a boardroom or when I go in wherever, I may not feel confident or capable or any of the things we teach, but I sure as hell project that, right? I’m going to project what I want the world to perceive me as, which is calm, confident, and capable. The three Cs we go back to all time in smart defense. And learning to use your voice is huge because you need to set healthy boundaries. Even with my husband and even in marriages and whatever relationship or friendship or work coworkers, you need to set boundaries that respect your belief system.

(00:41:50):
And being able to do that is something you can practice. It’s difficult, but learning to take up space physically and with your voice is huge. And things that don’t require a dojo or pads or mats to fall on, projecting this confidence looks like getting off your phone, head up, eyes forward, chest and shoulders up as well, and walking, you own the place. I tell everybody I walk in like a boss bitch wherever I am. And it’s not that I feel that way, it’s that I want to practice that so that when I am alone or when I am with my daughters or when I am with anybody in public or private, I want to feel like a hard target. If you appear self-conscious and unsure and all the small, shrinking physical manifestations of that, you do come off as an easier target. And it’s in the wild too. You look at the animal kingdom, they’re not picking off the female lioness who’s leading the hunt. They’re picking off the smaller, weaker, older, anybody they can that they think is going to be an easier target.

Fight The New Drug (00:43:10):
And it’s like you said, we have to practice, right? Yes. So you’re just practicing all of the time, the energy you want to project and have ready in a given scenario.

Miyo (00:43:17):
Yes, definitely.

Fight The New Drug (00:43:19):
Amazing. Tell us a little bit about the online program as well.

Miyo (00:43:23):
Yes. So Smart Defense Plus was developed during covid. It was, again, our answer to, dang it. We can’t meet in person just yet. So we do have an option for Smart Defense plus online it. It’s half the cost of training in person. You have a year access to it, and we only ask that you do it with a trusted, safe partner, and you’re the only one that can determine if that person is trusted and safe for you, and we want you to practice and share, and a whole household can do it. And our alumni all have access to that online program as well. And within our college programs, we also give them access that has built in homework. People think, oh, this is a PE credit, whatever. I’m like, Nope, you’ve got homework. You’ve got to drill, you’ve got to read. You’ve got to watch videos. There’s all sorts of action items to take.

Fight The New Drug (00:44:13):
Amazing. One of the last things I wanted to ask you about was the increase in teen sexual violence. Have you seen an increase in younger students coming in? Have you heard of anecdotes of this happening? What are your thoughts on that generally and what can be doing specifically to help prevent this among their generation as well?

Miyo (00:44:36):
Ooh, this hits home, man. I have a 14-year-old and a 17-year-old daughter, so I see it all the time in their friend groups. I see it in classes. I see it when I go and speak to groups of kiddos with seminars. It scares the crap out of me, to be honest. But also, I am very hopeful because when I was 14, 17, those ages, nobody talked about safety. I mean, besides be home before dark and don’t talk to strangers, that was the amount of safety training you got. But now I feel like people are starting to talk about it a lot more the Me Too movement for good or for bad, but I know there’s both sides of the coin, but it did raise a lot of awareness to the sexual violence space. And so I feel like teens are more educated nowadays than we were, and I speak maybe for us, not us. You’re like, what, 12 yourself so much

Fight The New Drug (00:45:36):
Closer to your age than you are anticipating,

Miyo (00:45:39):
I’m sure. But we have, we’re raising this generation of girls, and I have seen an increase in teens in my classes, and interestingly enough, when they come in, in fact, I have one that just started last week, and I was like, oh, how’d you hear about Smart Defense? My mom made me do this. I was like, hell yeah. Two points right off the bat of being honest. You’re going to thank your mom. Well, and also I’m glad you can be honest with me, but yeah, moms, I think so our generation who didn’t get safety training, we understand the importance of it. And so we are trying to encourage and push our own kiddos to do this. But even amongst my daughter’s friends, I’ve seen teen dating violence, I’ve seen porn addiction, I’ve seen sexual violence. I’ve seen all sorts of horrific situations. And one of our newest team members, his name is Brent, he’s amazing.

(00:46:38):
He used to be, he formerly was with the Rape recovery center and went on several calls and he said, just within the high school in this area, there were hundreds of reported rapes. I was like, what? One high school? But they’re getting reported. That’s huge. I think maybe the numbers have always been this bad. We’re just now getting concrete evidence that they’re this bad. And so having resources available, like smart defense, like rape, recovery center, even your health classes, we need to give you the education for you to make an empowered choice with your family.

Fight The New Drug (00:47:18):
And we know so many young people are seeking out pornography for sex education, and it’s not actually a great form of sex education because so many things like consent are not modeled as a standard or sexual templates are kind of built around things that are not maybe age appropriate for someone who’s younger or curious in that space. So having tools and resources that can be age appropriate and that can help inform and also address so many young people are unaware of when something maybe is assault. We speak to people all the time who say, I didn’t realize I was in an abusive relationship as a teenager until I was an adult. I didn’t realize that this wasn’t normal or this wasn’t okay, because that’s what they’ve seen in other places or what’s been normalized for them. So I think the very first thing you said is you’re so glad people are talking about it. And I think that is such a huge piece of this for both young people, adults, that we’re all having these conversations and we’re shining a light on these issues and working to solve them together.

Miyo (00:48:18):
Yeah, it’s interesting because I think the pornography aspect of sexual violence is maybe the last piece to be talked about, and I’m so grateful that you guys are bringing so much awareness to it. I myself had an experience. One of my children was in fourth grade, and her friend locked her in a bathroom and put on porn and fourth grade, my daughter still believed in Santa, right? I was completely shocked. I had no idea that that young of an age group had access or curiosities or would do anything like this. And I was so grateful that finally, and it was my daughter’s friends that encouraged her to tell me, I knew something was wrong because I was paying attention to behavior changes, but I didn’t know what, and finally she came to me and said, this happened. And I was like, oh my gosh, I’m so glad. Thank you for talking to me. Let’s get on the phone with the mom. Let’s handle this X, Y, Z. But I was shocked at how early it’s happening, and we discuss this all the time in our classes actually, is that isn’t eight years old the youngest exposure?

Fight The New Drug (00:49:32):
Yeah. They’re kind of varying metrics on that. We hear from people often who say they were exposed much younger, but between seven and nine is what we hear a

Miyo (00:49:41):
Lot. Yeah, seven and nine. Those are little itty bitties. And I remember my first exposure to porn was in high school at a house party, and it was just on and plain, and I left. I was like, oh my gosh, the alcohol didn’t bother me. I didn’t drink, whatever. That’s normal to me. But then to have porn on, I was just like, what am I doing?

Fight The New Drug (00:50:05):
That’s so interesting too, because for so many of us before the internet was around, exposure looked different,

Miyo (00:50:11):
Very different

Fight The New Drug (00:50:12):
In a lot of ways. And exposure for so many young kids now is the most extreme content or the most violent or the most degrading or the most aggressive, and it’s the first thing that they see. And so of course, they have so many questions about it, and if they don’t have a safe and trusted adult to talk to about those questions, which kudos to you for being a safe and trusted adult that your daughter could speak to, they will Google those questions and the answers they get are going to be not age appropriate and not something that they likely have the capacity to understand yet. And so it’s something that we should be really aware of how accessible that is for children and the messages young girls are getting. We spoke to an expert who worked for the Coalition Against Trafficking in Women, and she noted that pornography teaches women and young girls that they have to submit to a very high level of violence in sex.

(00:51:05):
And I thought that was such an interesting thing for her to say so plainly, because that is what a lot of pornography teaches, especially for young girls who are seeing it at such an early age. And so it’s definitely part of this entire conversation. We can’t address sexual assault without addressing this role that pornography plays in it, but certainly not the whole picture. But it is part of it, and it’s important for us to look at all of it together. So thank you for noting that, I guess as well, and making that connection for our listeners. Also, we have heard from males, or we often hear from males who say, I don’t experience the world the way you experience it. As a woman. I, I’m not catcalled. I don’t go through life afraid or checking my backseat when I get in my car at night or holding my keys between my fingers or all of the most basic examples. Do you have men who take your men’s program who have that reaction of just acknowledging, oh, wow, this is so much different for you than it is for me?

Miyo (00:52:02):
Yeah. I feel like it’s the opposite of the guys who think they can step in and take care of everything. It’s the other allies that are like, holy shit, I had no idea. This is your reality, because they’re just not around it. Or maybe they don’t have female children, or maybe they aren’t in a relationship, or maybe they just have never even thought about sexual violence at all because most men don’t. In fact, our men’s program director, Marcus, we were talking about an incident where he intervened. This was years and years ago, and how he would’ve intervened differently if his wife was there. And I was like, huh, that’s interesting. Is that because you’re worried about sexual violence for her? I can’t remember the details, but then I turned to him and I was like, so what if you were worried about getting raped yourself?

(00:52:50):
And he was like, huh, I’ve never been worried about that. Interesting. I was like, yep. How often am I worried about that? Every female out there, adult females, I think especially, are acutely aware of the dangers. But yeah, we have lots of men, and my husband was one of them right before he joined our staff and started coaching with us. He’s for sure not a rapist, he’s for sure a very healthy loving male role model for his kiddos and in healthy relationships. But the more and more and more he learned and the more and more and more exposure he had, our whole male staff, I love them. Every single one of our male coaches is a remarkable human. But we’ll be at an event and maybe there’s eight of our male coaches that are in attendance, and we’re all sitting at a table and we listen to Elizabeth speak.

(00:53:42):
I’ve heard her story a million times where we listen to a survivor speak and I can see them physically shaking because it’s so upsetting to them, and they are so much of a natural protector that it greatly impacts them, and that is why they do what they do. That’s why I do what I do. We are all in this heavy, heavy work because we’re passionate about it, and we are passionate about making change and helping people. I’m sure it’s why your whole staff is in it, right? This area of sexual violence, of pornography, of any of it is heavy. It’s heavy to lift, it’s heavy to move the needle. And so you really have to have your ducks in a row if you’re going to last a long time in this space. And I feel like all of us do, because we do prioritize self-care, which is number one.

(00:54:34):
And Elizabeth Heather, our whole staff is so good at, Hey, if you’ve had a really heavy experience here, take a day off, go in the mountains or like, Hey, this is going to be hard. Let’s bring in some victim advocates. We have an amazing victim advocate Jordan on our staff. We have volunteers that come to our teachings, to our courses to support our students as well. Because sometimes even without trauma in your past, having a big, strong, aggressive male in your space, in your bubble, especially if you’re not like a touchy feely person, can be very stressful. And so just giving people the tools and the breath work and the meditation to bring their central nervous system back down and then also have the physical support of the victim advocates right there has been a huge game changer for us.

Fight The New Drug (00:55:25):
Yeah, that’s such an important reminder for anyone doing this work in this space at all. Many of our listeners are as well, that we can only continue to do this work if we do it sustainably. And the only way to do that is through a lot of self-care, a lot of good boundaries, a lot of support from other people, having the right people involved and knowing when to call someone in and making sure that you’re not carrying the weight of the world alone.

Miyo (00:55:48):
Yes. And a good therapist. Yeah, great therapist. I went back to as my work with Smart Defense ramped up because I’d come home either in tears or full of rage that obviously you can’t express in front of your students. And then I’d take it out on them at home and I’m like, okay, this is not sustainable. I can’t be having nightmares or not all the things that go along with being in this space, and I freaking love my therapist. So I would say, right, shout. Thats one of the things.

Fight The New Drug (00:56:17):
Shout out ot my therapist if you’re listening,

Miyo (00:56:19):
Get good support system in place.

Fight The New Drug (00:56:21):
Speaking of how heavy all of this can be, what gives you hope about the future in this space?

Miyo (00:56:28):
Oh my gosh. So many things. And like I mentioned earlier, my favorite thing about our program is watching this transformative process and literally the friendships and the connections I still have through coaching. I still am in contact with students from five years ago and to see like, oh, they’re living a healthy loving life with great healthy relationships where maybe some of them came from an awful abusive situation. I’ve also seen so many people stick with what they love and with the notion or the goal to give back. So we have several smart defense graduates who were so impacted by our program that they now have made it a priority to become certified, to be able to coach for us to come full circle. And with that, I will say anybody who wants to go into this healing space needs to be healed themselves first. If you would’ve given me this job opportunity on a platter 15 years ago, I wouldn’t have been ready for it, and I wouldn’t have lasted long.

(00:57:39):
But I feel like those of us who see the value and the importance of this can work in our own ways. Maybe martial arts isn’t your bread and butter. Maybe it’s starting a podcast to raise awareness or to give resources or to share experiences on, but seeing the growth from when they walk in to when they leave or getting those text messages or videos or Look what I did or look who I helped. Or I went home and I taught my little sister this, and now she’s yelling, or now she’s using her voice. And the growth and the change and evolution, I’d say of the female is what gives me hope is seeing how much we are taking up space now, how much we are using our voices, and how much we are demanding now that the respect, the love, and the healthy relationships are what we’re only going to accept.

Fight The New Drug (00:58:33):
Yeah, and knowing there’s such a ripple effect, right? Of every person who goes through this program or online, in person comes across the resources, listens to this episode, there will be a ripple effect of the information that’s passed on and the empowerment that comes from that, and knowing that we are creating that shift in culture and we are making a dent in these issues. And I encourage anyone listening to at least take the online program if you’re not geographically able to take a Smart Defense training. For anyone who does want to take a training, can you tell us a little bit about where they should go, how they should go about that

Miyo (00:59:11):
Process? Yes, and actually, if you’re not in one of those states that I mentioned previously, we travel all over the country to do seminars. So we are available for that and always interested in launching and expanding at other spaces. You can imagine it’s a long process before we really trust that we’re going to launch a program in your space. So it is a long process, but you can email me just Miyo at Elizabeth Smart Foundation. You can go to ESF Smart Defense on Instagram, elizabeth smart foundation.org. There are many ways you can get in touch. And then our website has access to our online programming as well as you can book private seminars, private full courses, and any of the public universities in Utah. We are currently offering fall semester at Snow College and Southern Utah University. We are working on spring semester at Utah Tech as well as University of Utah, Weber State, Utah State, salt Lake Community College. There’s so many other options. If you have a student going to those colleges or universities, write to the president and say, Hey, we heard that Smart Defense is fully funded now. Do you have it? When do you have it? And get us in touch, and we are hopefully going to be in every university in 2025.

Fight The New Drug (01:00:30):
Well, Miyo, thank you so much for being here with us For your time, any of our listeners, please go to elizabeth smart foundation.org or visit online on Instagram. As Mia said, look up these trainings. Do what you can to empower yourself and your communities. Consider bringing a seminar to you. At the very least, please follow the Elizabeth Smart Foundation, learn about the incredible work they’re doing beyond Smart Defense. There are many other programs as well that you could learn from, grow from, bring into your communities. So thank you for your time, Miyo, and thank you to our listeners for checking in today.

Miyo (01:01:07):
Yeah, thanks for having me.

Promo (01:01:13):
Decades of studies from respected institutions have demonstrated the significant impacts of porn consumption on individuals, relationships, and society. Truth about porn is a current ever-growing database dedicated to giving visibility to the research on the harmful effects of pornography, access the latest studies and watch expert interviews to brush up on the research detailing the harms of pornography. Get the facts at truthaboutporn.org.

(01:01:41):
Some people don’t realize that sex trafficking shares a variety of symbiotic connections to pornography. There are all kinds of connections between pornography, sexual exploitation, and sex trafficking. Often they’re one and the same, even in the production of mainstream porn. Sex trafficking can still occur, and it happens more often than most people think. In fact, according to the International Labor Organization and estimated 6.3 million people are in situations of forced commercial sexual exploitation, legally defined as sex trafficking At any point in time, even more disturbingly, more than one in five sex trafficking victims are children. These can be discouraging statistics to hear, but we all have the power to decrease the demand for sex trafficking by raising awareness of its connections to pornography. You can learn more about how sex trafficking is connected to pornography and what you can do to help decrease the demand for it at FTND.org/trafficking. That’s F-T-N-D.O-R-G/trafficking.

Outro (01:02:53):
Thanks for joining us on this episode of Consider Before Consuming. Consider Before Consuming is brought to you by Fight the New Drug. Fight The New Drug is a non-religious and non-legislative organization that exists to provide individuals the opportunity to make an informed decision regarding pornography by raising awareness on its harmful effects using only science facts and personal accounts. Check out the episode notes for resources mentioned in this episode. If you find this podcast helpful, consider subscribing and leaving a review. Consider before Consuming as made possible by listeners like you. If you like to support consider before Consuming, you can make a one-time or recurring donation of any amount at FTND.org/support. That’s F-T-N-D.O.R.G/support. Thanks again for listening. We invite you to increase your self-awareness, look both ways, check your blind spots and consider before consuming.