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Garrett Jonsson: My name is Garrett Jonsson, and you’re listening to Consider Before Consuming, a podcast by Fight the New Drug.

And in case you’re new here, Fight the New Drug is a non-religious and non-legislative organization that exists to provide individuals the opportunity to make an informed decision regarding pornography by raising awareness on its harmful effects using only science, facts, and personal accounts.

We want these conversations to be educational, uplifting, and hopeful. As we sit down with experts, influencers, activists, and people with personal accounts, we cover a wide variety of topics that may be triggering to some, you can refer to the episode notes for a specific trigger warning- listener discretion is advised.

Today’s episode is with Jennifer Nielson, CEO of The Dig. She experienced child sexual abuse at a young age, but repressed those memories for years. It wasn’t until later in life that she was able to dig up the trauma, and address it in a healthy way. This process led to The Dig, a company that facilitates healing. During this conversation we talk about how her sexual abuse affected her, what it was like to face her abuser in court, and some of the benefits she’s experienced through the healing process.

With that being said, let’s jump into the conversation, we hope you enjoy this episode of Consider Before Consuming.

Well, first of all, we want to get to know you a little bit better. So can you tell us who is Jennifer Nielson?

Jennifer: Oh, goodness. Well, I am a mother of five and that keeps me pretty busy, but three of my kids are now living outside of the home. So I only have two left at home.

Garrett Jonsson: Cool.

Jennifer: But I love life. Like I love enjoying experiences. I love going on lunch dates with my friends and with my family. I love to travel because that’s just something that’s always brought me a lot of joy. I love experiencing new cultures, seeing new places I’ve been to, I don’t know, 46, 47 countries. So I’ve, I’ve traveled a lot, but it seems the more I travel, the more places I want to go, my list doesn’t get smaller- let’s just put it that way. [laughter] It just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

Garrett Jonsson: 46 countries, to me, is pretty impressive.

Jennifer: You know, it’s an opportunity to experience on so many levels, just different things like all in one, one experience. So I love it. I love to travel.

Garrett Jonsson: That’s cool. And you’ve started a, a company, right? A program.

Jennifer: Yes.

Garrett Jonsson: Can you talk to that a little bit?

Jennifer: Of course. And again, I could, I could talk, travel all day long and I could talk The Dig all day long. So how many hours do you have? [laughter]

Garrett Jonsson: I have to be to lunch at 2:00 PM. So we have a few hours.

Jennifer: Okay, we’ll be fine. No, I just, the dig is kind of evolved over many, many years. I’ve been on this, this self-help journey for decades and this kind of came out of a place of my own trauma and my own experiences where things just weren’t working. Like I mentioned naturally, I’m a very joyful, happy person, but it, there was like two Jennifers for a very long time where it was the inner part that just felt broken and disjointed. There was, it was very in congruent with the person that other saw. And I really, you know, in, in the process of trying to figure myself out and going through, you know, years of different therapies and modalities and, and trying to figure this out because I just, I wanted to have that, that, that congruency, where I had that real true deep peace and joy that I felt like I was able to share with others, but internally I didn’t have that.

And so The Dig, it, there’s no problem too big or too small that it can’t help you work through. And it really just boils down to asking questions and inquiry and helping people see that it’s not what happens to them that causes the chaos, the suffering in their lives. It’s what they believe about it. So often we’re outcome focused on things that we can’t control on events, on things that people have done to us. And this just pulls it back to, “I can’t change the event, but I can change the way I respond and what I believe about it and who I become.” So that’s just kind of a quick synopsis of The Dig.

Garrett Jonsson: Um, why did you start at, you said you studied all these different modalities of healing and recovery and you just saw a need for The Dig?

Jennifer: Well, yes, that’s a really good question because like I said, I had been doing this for many, many years, but what’s beautiful about The Dig, which is, makes it unique too, is that it’s something that you can do on your own at home. It takes effort, it takes work, but it’s also productive work. A lot of times people come to me, they’re very uncomfortable in their lives. They’re very, they feel stuck in this prison. It’s almost like a comfortable misery [laughter]. To leave that comfortable misery is scary. And what I always tell them is “You can be productively uncomfortable or unproductively uncomfortable.”

Garrett Jonsson: Yeah.

Jennifer: And the idea with the dig is it’s going to be a little bit uncomfortable to, to dig in, to uncover some of these, these blocks, some of these pains, some of these, um, things that have caused us this trauma in our lives, but it will help us get closer to that light and to that freedom versus just staying in that comfortable known prison that often we feel like we have this life sentence at times of just, “This is it. This is how it’s going to be.” And that’s very much how I felt for many, many, many years of my life, that there was an I, I could never be that person that was really deeply joyful, and happy, and confident, and peaceful. And it’s a Testament that if I can do it, anyone can do it because I was in a pretty dark place for a few years.

Garrett Jonsson: Nice. And can we jump into your personal account a little bit? Um, I think that you’ve talked a lot about your healing process, but we really haven’t been able to, um, dive into what you were healing from. Are you okay if we jump into that a little bit?

Jennifer: Yes, actually, thank you. I, I it’s, it took me a while to get to that place where I was comfortable talking about it, but I’ve realized it’s in our vulnerability and our being honest about where we are, that it gives other people that, that hope and that opportunity to have that same level of honesty and freedom in their lives. And like I said, about probably 12 or 13 years ago, I really found myself in a very dark place. It just seemed like everything was happening. And it just was over a time period where my Dad passed away suddenly, which was a huge blow. He was very young and he was very, very important person in my life. And our home ended up in foreclosure. My daughter, she has a health condition that requires a lot of medical attention, and that was just adding to the stress and my marriage with my husband.

I mean, he was just getting on my last nerves and I just didn’t, I was not doing well. And it was during this time that I was going to therapy, trying to figure out, you know, trying to work through all of this, that all the memories of child sexual abuse, childhood sexual abuse came flooding back. I, I had suspicions that there had been abused in my childhood, but it wasn’t until this time I was probably about 35, that all the memories came back and it, it was devastating. It was a family member and we’re very close knit family. We spent every holiday together. He came to my birthdays, my dance recitals. I mean, this person was, my uncle was very intertwined in my life. And I loved his family, his wife, his children. And it wasn’t just me that had these memories come back. In fact, it ended up being a very, very, he affected a lot of people.

I’ll just, I’ll just put it that way, but it was in recovering some of those memories and then working through those, it, I reached a pretty, pretty low, low place in my life. And what people often don’t understand is it’s not so much, it’s, it’s not the memories of the trauma that causes you so much pain. Cause I’ve had people say, well it’s so long ago. I can’t, you know, you know, why, why is it still affecting you? Well, when you’re three years old and you’re sexually abused and this went on for many, many years and it was, and it was more than just that. There was times where he, he would take us to the brink of like, I mean, I had a near death experience and one of the instances, because he would suffocate us and do things that just inhumane. He was a very, it was inhumane, but you create belief systems because of the trauma, you dissociate your coping skills, the way you perceive the world becomes it’s, it’s, it’s grown out of those experiences.

And you don’t know the difference between non trauma and trauma belief systems because at three years old, that’s, that’s all I’ve ever known. Really my whole life is this fight or flight, the survivalist, the dissociating. The way that I operated the level of self-loathing, the way I connected in my relationships. It, it created these just dis disconnect in all areas of my life. And so the trauma, although it’s over now, the effects stay with you and it takes work and it takes healing to get to a place where now I can identify who the real Jennifer is, not the trauma Jennifer and for a very long time. And like, even in my marriage, I looked at my husband as the problem as if he was just revealing so much of my pains and my wounds and my fears and my, you know, attachment issues.

And I remember sitting in one of my counselor’s chairs and we were, I was kind of going over all of these heartaches and these pains. And I had, again, fixated on my husband, but as the trauma had come out and I realized that so much of this was connected to that. He looked at me one day. He said, “Jennifer, you don’t have to be a victim anymore. You can choose to have joy and peace and happiness in your life. You don’t have to be the victim.” And I might’ve been told that before, but it was the first time I heard that. And so it was then that I was able to really move through the healing process and we even confronted him and it was me and another relative and he denied it. And then about two years later after we had confronted him, I went to another relative.

It’s, it’s just, it’s a very interesting story, how it came out. But ultimately I had another cousin who was impacted by the same sexual abuse. And at that point is when we decided to go and press charges, which I never had any intention or desire to do. I did not want to be the one to rock the boat in the family. And that’s another thing that I w I kind of want to speak to was certain personality traits. Like I was definitely a pleaser, a perfectionist, all these things that I received gratification from, and a lot of tension with that in being the one, I was the first one to go to the police. It kind of that, that, that people pleasing role, uh, it challenged that. And I had to let that go in order to do it. I had to do, because I did re there was opposition and it was, it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

And also knowing that my uncle was around my children. I mean, he’s, he was, he, he was doing this, went on for probably 40 years that we know of his abuse. And ultimately what led me to finally have the courage to, to go in and really to, to, to do this was so that he wouldn’t do this anymore. And he wouldn’t affect any more children, including my children, my nieces and nephews, my cousin’s children, and he wasn’t going to stop, but he hadn’t stopped. And so, um, we ended up going in and after seven years, it was a very long process from the time that I spoke to him the first time till it actually went to court to trial, it was seven years.

Garrett Jonsson: Wow.

Jennifer: And it’s a very, very long process. And I’ve had people reach out to me that are in different circumstances where they’ve had abuse.

And I just always have to give them the honest reality that when you go through the legal system, there’s another level of violation, especially when you have to sit on the witness stand and be interrogated, and your integrity is challenged. Everything about you is challenged. So I had to be in a very healthy place and a very clear place to be able to speak out and to stop him and to go through, again, the interrogation that I had to go through on the witness stand and going through this process, and even among family members, there’s family members that weren’t supportive of what I was doing. I had a lot of resistance, and that was really, really painful because really the reason why I did it was to protect other people. But in the end, I realized that I needed that protection as well, or that, that validation or that, um, like for myself, it should have been enough to go in and to press charges, but, you know, that’s, it got me there and it got us where we needed to go.

And again, that was, it was a very long process. And people have often said, you know, “I bet you, you know….”, when he ended up getting convicted to 402 years in prison, the maximum maximum sentence. And so if you think about 402 years, that kind of gives you an idea of how the kind of guy that he was and what he did. It was, it, it was one of the most severe abuse cases that our attorneys had ever dealt with, um, in Arizona and in, it was, it was pretty bad, but, you know, people often have said, “I bet you have so much closure from that.” And really if your closure and your healing is contingent on an outcome that you can’t control, that would be really scary because the chances of getting a conviction with sexual abuse, I mean, three out of four cases aren’t even reported.

And those that are reported about 1% actually make it to trial and get a conviction. And so the number it’s like, almost like winning the lottery is getting a conviction against a child sexual predator, because it’s very hard to prove it. So, yeah, so it’s been a very long journey and that was a very painful, difficult time, but finding my voice in all of it and using the very thing that he took from me, my power to choose to stand up against him was one of the greatest ironies. [laughter] And to be able to offer that to other people, is that the power of your choice.

Garrett Jonsson: I love that. How do you perceive your child abuse differently today than you did at your low point?

Jennifer: Well, at my low point, I think I mentioned earlier is I felt like I had a life sentence of depression. There was times when I would have gladly been hit by a Mack truck, then like, “bye-bye world, I can’t do this anymore.” I felt like it had a hold on me. It defined to me, I felt broken. I felt shattered. That was my perception. And it was a very, very real feeling. And as I worked with hundreds of people, this is a very common belief system when you’ve been abused and reaction. It’s, you know, most people that have been sexually abused suffer with depression, anxiety. There’s a lot of suicidal ideations when you’re struggling, when you’ve had this kind of abuse, but now as I’ve been able to work through it, it seems a little bit, um, probably hard to believe, but I do see it as a gift because what has required of me has been working and going so deep with myself and getting completely honest with myself and understanding that, first of all, I’m not alone. And second of all, that I can overcome anything. And that the person that I thought I was is the exact opposite person of who I really am. I am powerful. I love myself now. I have very deep connections with my family, with my husband. And that was one of the biggest victories was not the 402 years. It was that my relationships that I thought were maybe not salvageable I’ve been able to, to work through because it wasn’t about the relationships or my dad passing away, or the trauma or any of those events that I felt like were causing me all this pain and suffering. It was what I believed about it. You, aren’t your trauma that does not define you. And I have nothing to be ashamed of and that’s, and being able to speak that and take that out of the darkness into the light.

I, I just know that it doesn’t define me. And it also has helped me get to the place where I’m at now, where I have a voice. And one of the jurors said something that I’ll never forget. They had told our attorneys that I was “resolute, but not angry.” And…

Garrett Jonsson: That’s powerful.

Jennifer: Yeah. And like a moral authority. And what they were saying basically is that, I mean, the judge, the attorney, for whatever reason, I think that my uncle, like I was looked at as the ringleader in this process and my uncle had a deep obviously level of disdain for me. Um, there was, there was four witnesses total in our trial, many more victims than that. But those were the ones that were, that went to our trial. And I was able to stand up to MOA and push back and not get angry, not cower, but just be resolute.

And I feel like that for me, is such, it’s again, a victory that the person that I was wasn’t that person, but now my voice, the way I, I respond, the way I operate in the world is very different. And I had to fight for that. I had to work for that. And just like anything that we work for in our lives, the more we invest in them, where we work, the more power and meaning that it has. And so that’s something now that you can never take for me. And I want to give that to other people, and it’s not just those who’ve had sexual abuse in their, in their lives. And that’s something I really want to speak to is pain is pain. And trauma comes in all shapes and sizes, divorce, death illness, there’s, everyone’s experienced pain. We’re none of us are exempt, but all of us have the same power to choose, to work through that, to have hope and to have possibility and to expand and become the people that we want to be, regardless of what’s happened to us. And so that’s where I just get so excited because I see that in people and even those that come in and feel like they’re not repairable, like I’ve had people say those kinds of things to me and that it just isn’t. So it just, isn’t true. Everyone has the ability to heal, to grow and to become powerful,

Garrett Jonsson: I like that. And one thing that has stood out as you’ve spoken is that concept of, um, either way is uncomfortable. So kind of embrace that discomfort.

Jennifer: Yes.

Garrett Jonsson: I like that approach because it’s so true. Like life is challenging, whether you deal with your, your problems in a productive way or unproductive way, either way, it’s going to be uncomfortable and challenging. So one question I have to ask Jennifer, if it’s okay? And obviously whenever asks a question, if you don’t want to answer it, obviously don’t answer it. We want you to, we want you to do what is best for you. Did porn play a role in your perpetrator’s actions?

Jennifer: So that’s an interesting question. So when… he was at work, he was arrested at work initially, and then they let him go. And that, and that was the beginning of years and years and years before it was actually arrested again and then ended up staying in jail until the trial. So when that happened, all the computers that he had in his home were destroyed beyond recognition, exactly in that timeframe, then I don’t know if it was that day, the next day, whatever it was. So when it came time to go and to get any sort of, you know, any of his computers from his home, they were destroyed. I mean, there, they were gone, there was no access. And so speaking with our detective and understanding the level of the abuse that he, I mean, he’s just think of the worst possible abuser, sexual abuser, that’s who he was.

They that they wanted to find the pornography. There is no question that he was not involved in child pornography. Now, do I have proof of that? No. But what would have helped our case go quicker is that they had to found that because that’s tangible evidence that they can like press charges on immediately. They get, I don’t know how many years I think it’s, and you would probably know this more than I would, but if they catch him on child porn, that’s an immediate, like, there’s, they, they, they get put in jail. Whereas if they’re trying to prove sexual abuse, it’s a lot harder to prove that. There’s just that…

Garrett Jonsson: Right. Because often times there’s lack of evidence.

Jennifer: Lack of evidence and collaboration. And again, it’s, he said, she said, and in our case, it had been 30 plus years since the abuse that occurred. And it was an absolute miracle that we were able to get that conviction, but it was very, very frustrating to us because he deliberately damaged his computer and it made it a lot harder and the process a lot longer. And he was very conniving, very, very, he’s a very intelligent man. Um, that used his, his very much a narcissistic sociopath. He used his level of intelligence and manipulation at to his advantage, to a family that was essentially very naive and saw the good in people. And he knew how to work the system. And just in that situation, he, you know, he was always a step ahead until he wasn’t right. It caught up to him eventually. He’s now eating slop in prison in Florence, Arizona. So there’s that?

Garrett Jonsson: Well, I just want to say how much I admire you for your courage and strength to, to persevere through that.

Jennifer: Well I appreciate that.

Garrett Jonsson: Thanks for doing all that you do.

Jennifer: Thank you. There’s definitely times that I wonder how strong and how courageous I am, but in the end, I, once I’ve got my eyes set on something, I there’s just, there’s no turning back, but there was definitely times when I, like I said, I, it was really hard.

Garrett Jonsson: Right.

Can you share a couple of maybe one example or two examples of, um, people that you’ve worked with within the program, The Dig, and some of the experiences they’ve had, um, that have gone from a low point to a success story of changing their perception and their energy?

Jennifer: One of the first ones I’ll share actually relates to pornography. I, um, I’ve actually worked with several clients that have had spouses that have struggled with this. And, um, one in particular, it was Christmas Eve and they had grabbed their husband’s phone to take a picture of the kids are out looking at lights and on the phone, somehow I don’t, there was pornography on the phone. She saw the pornography on the phone. And as you can imagine, that was very devastating. And often with pornography, when, when people have a spouse that’s struggling with that, they automatically feel a level of somehow it’s like a betrayal, a personable personal betrayal.

Garrett Jonsson: Right.

Jennifer: And what I know about pornography and what I know about any, anything that we do, whether it’s something that’s been dead to us, or a mistake that we’ve made, or an addiction that we have is shame can keeps it hidden.

And it keeps you from growing and healing through it. And in this particular case, she was willing to do the work on her end because really The Dig demands, honesty and accountability, she was willing to do the work that she needed to do to clear up those beliefs that told her that somehow she was, you know, not attractive, not desirable that he had betrayed her. And she really was able to get to a place where she understood that this wasn’t a reflection of her. And it really wasn’t about her, even though it impacted her. And that’s a tricky thing to try and help people understand. And so in doing the work with her, the idea was to help her to get clear where she was, so that she could make a decision, not based on emotion, not based on shame, whether or not she wanted to stay in this marriage.

Because if you stay in a marriage out of fear of being alone or out of shame, or you leave the marriage out of fear, out of shame, that’s not the right reason to stay in or out of a marriage or taken out of a marriage. And so in her case, it was really important that we helped her clear up these beliefs so that she could objectively and neutrally look at the situation. So when I’m working with someone we’ve talked about the event, like I mentioned earlier, it’s not about the event it’s. So we want to look at that very like neutral, like water is neutral. Often water can be beautiful. It can be purifying. It can be refreshing. We swim lakes, rivers, trains, but water can also wreak havoc, floods, and storms that can cause mold, people have drowned. You know, they drown in water.

So water really isn’t good or bad. It’s just water. And so the more we can look at events as neutral and not make them about us. And that’s a really hard principle. I remember the first time that was presented to me, I wanted to, I think, punch the guy that told me that, right after you told me I had anger. I’m like, “I don’t have anger.”

Garrett Jonsson: [laughter]

Jennifer: But I really, I realized that I looked at everything like every event, every trauma, every person that had hurt me is it wasn’t about me, but it was what other people do. It’s never about us. And so first we helped her get clear on that and do her work. And then second, he was willing to do the work that he needed to do, declare his own shame. People that get involved in pornography. A lot of times it comes out of buffering out of their own pain.

It comes out of them escaping. So it’s a very difficult thing to work through. And when you can look at someone that’s in pain as why they’re in pain and the people in pain cause pain. And so he was willing to do what he needed to do to do his own work, to, to be accountable, to clear up his own beliefs has shame. And to get honest with himself, and then honest with his wife, and she was able to get honest with herself and it created an opening where they could connect where they could both heal, because if it was just one doing the work, it wouldn’t have the same results. Now I’ve worked with couples where both of them aren’t able to do the work. And I’ve seen couples again at another lady that, um, husbands struggle with pornography that didn’t learn, led him to getting involved with prostitutes and call girls.

And she did the work and she cleared up her beliefs and her all that she needed to clear up around that. And he wasn’t able to do that. And so their marriage had a different outcome. It didn’t work because they both didn’t do the work. They both weren’t accountable. They both didn’t do their find that healing and that clarity. But if both people are willing to do the work to get help, we’re not meant to do this alone. It’s like cutting our finger, there’s a big slash in it. You know, we’re bleeding and we don’t go get stitches because we think we can heal it on our own. Well, this is a wound that is so deep pornography, is it, is it, my heart goes out to those that struggle with it. But I also have a level of like, I know what pornography can do.

I don’t know if my uncle started with the pornography. I don’t know what led him to get where he did, but I know that the way that he viewed an objectified individuals, women, children, played into his problem. And I just pornography, if not dealt with and not address can have grave results in the end. And whether it’s ending your marriage, whether it’s, you know, getting in, you know, into the situation that my uncle was in, my husband works in the prison as a volunteer with the sexual crimes division. And these are men that are, most of them are pedophiles and universally that is a thing, pornography. And many of those men are grateful that they’re in prison because they know outside of that prison, they don’t, they would not be able to manage their addiction. And this, the sexual abuse is often a by-product of the pornography.

So with the digging in the practice that I worked with these private sessions is that I’m helping, you know, find accountability, honesty, healing, but first it takes a willing person that chooses to do that and chooses to own up to what is or isn’t working in their life.

Garrett Jonsson: Right.

Jennifer: And if, and if both parties are willing to do that in a relationship, or if there’s an individual that’s struggling and that’s, that’s one thing with my husband, again, working in the prison that I’ve really understood at a deeper level is that even at that, you know, in the darkest place in prison, and some of these men have done the worst possible things that you can imagine, including my uncle, there’s still hope. It doesn’t matter what level you’re at. If, if your trauma or your challenges that are holding you back could be seeming, they might seem trivial to someone else or to yourself.

If they’re causing you pain and keeping you stuck and not allowing you to progress and to grow to the degree that you want. And that’s a problem, we want to work on that. And it doesn’t matter what the event is. Anyways, we it’s about our belief system and how we respond and how we perceive it. That’s what we focus on in The Dig. The Dig demands, accountability, honesty, and sometimes being honest with ourselves is one of the hardest things we’ll ever do. But it’s in that, that we create that opening that space to be that have that level of honesty and vulnerability in our relationships. And that was what really was a game changer for me, is as I was able to slowly but surely get rid of the walls that were within me, the level that I can connect with people now, it’s, it’s, it’s very, very profound. And I, and I’m very grateful for that. Again, it’s a gift. It’s an, it’s something that I felt like I had to work really hard for, but now it’s something that I appreciate about who I am.

Garrett Jonsson: Yeah. That is cool.

Jennifer: And you’re not defined by your mistakes or who you are aware. What, what, you’re the only way that it can really define you is if you let it define you and if you choose to get help, you can overcome it. So don’t be afraid to get help.

Garrett Jonsson: Yeah. You’re a good example of seeking help, not only are you preaching the way to help them to recovery, but you’re living it. So that’s cool. Well, thank you. We want to leave you with the opportunity to give the last word or the last thought, Jennifer.

Jennifer: Well, essentially, I guess my belief system is this that no matter what you’ve gone through or what you’re going through, you can thrive in your life. It doesn’t matter because even though you don’t get to choose always what happens to you, you always get to choose how you respond and who you become. So that power of choice is your greatest superpower. If you’re, if you choose to do something different, you can get something different, your outcomes are up to you. And it doesn’t matter what it is. I can’t say that enough. So I just would want to leave a message of hope and possibility for everyone listening, no matter where you are right now in your life, whatever you’re experiencing, there’s hope.

Garrett Jonsson: I’m all pumped up now. Like I want to go, go seek healing and promote healing.

Jennifer: Well, thank you. And I appreciate being able to be on here in this platform. And I love connecting with other people that are trying to change the world because really that’s what we’re trying to do. And changing the world starts with changing individuals. And that’s really what we, we both have that in common that you know, this movement that you’re involved with and what I’m doing, it’s, we’re trying to accomplish the same thing.

Garrett Jonsson: Right. Yeah. No, thank you. Thanks for showing up day in and day out and thanks for, uh, taking the time to record a conversation with us.

Jennifer: Oh, it’s my pleasure. Thank you.

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Garrett Jonsson: Thanks for joining us on this episode of Consider Before Consuming.

Consider Before Consuming is brought to you by Fight the New Drug.

Fight the New Drug is a non-religious and non-legislative organization that exists to provide individuals the opportunity to make an informed decision regarding pornography by raising awareness on its harmful effects using only science, facts, and personal accounts.

If you’d like to learn more about today’s guest and the conversation we had, you can check out the links included with this episode.

Again, big thanks to you for listening to this conversation. As you go about your day, we invite you to increase your self-awareness, look both ways, check your blind spots, and consider before consuming.